Tami’s tips on motherhood
With her life now devoted to becoming the best nurturer and support system for her children, Tami Chin Mitchell is verse with the ins and outs of motherhood. Tami tackles everything as she revealed to Outlook, updates on her current pregnancy with baby number three, her top five tips for expectant mothers, and what it takes to live in a blended family.
“This pregnancy is not much different from my other two pregnancies. I have the same amount of morning sickness; however, I gained less weight with the last two,” said Tami, who admitted that a major difference with her current pregnancy is her current mindset. “I am really embracing this. I love being pregnant, and it feels like I can really be present this time around,” she said. Her previous experience has allowed her to be very relaxed and easy-going and give way to the excitement that comes with being an expectant mother.
Tami spared no details in her top five advice for new moms:
1 “Relax, Mommy, you are going to figure it out. You don’t know everything right now, you don’t know how the baby is going to respond to the world. You have so much anxiety, but just relax. So many women have done it before you. You are not the first, you are not the last.”
2 “Get comfortable clothes. This is a very strange time where you feel like you don’t fit into anything, and you don’t feel particularly gorgeous. You are hot. Just get comfy clothes, nuh get nothing weh girt yuh.”
3 “Be gentle with yourself. It is a very strange time. Hormones are going all over the place. You hate everybody some days and you love them on other days. You want to nyam down the place. Just be gentle with yourself.”
4. “If you are married or with somebody just try to remember that they mean you well. It goes back to the hormones. Wayne could easily ask me ‘Did you eat today?’ And my response would be ‘What do you mean if I ate today, of course, I ate today!’ You just have to be aware that they are going through a change, too, and they are adjusting as well. It’s not just happening to you and I think that we do not give them enough credit. Especially if they are showing up and being there for us. They, too, are going to experience a life change. It is important for you to also be supportive to your partner, too, and help them to help you to make this transition.”
5 “Enjoy the baby while the baby is inside. When you get towards the end, you feel like it is never going to end. When you get to that last month of being pregnant, you literally just want the whole thing to be over. You want to meet your baby, you don’t want to carry this weight around anymore. You think you are going to sleep again (never going to happen). Enjoy the baby while the baby can take a nap when you nap, while he/she can eat when you eat and not really disrupting your life because as soon as they come out, I remember wishing I could put them back in.
A Blended Family
Tami expressed that the key components that are necessary for a blended family are respect, boundaries, and focus on the children.
“My advice for anyone that is in a blended family like I am, is you have to hold some things dear. For us, respect is a big one. I have a lot of respect for Regina, which is Gio’s mom. I have a lot of respect for the relationship she has with Wayne, I have a lot of respect for the relationship she has with Gio and then we hold our own space together,”said Tami.
She believes that more logical decisions can be made by keeping the focus on the children.
“I think another important thing is to keep in mind what we are trying to do, and if we put our focus back on our children, we make much better decisions. If we are making decisions from hurt feelings or hurt egos, or feelings of anger towards your partner, then it is not going to get any better or go anywhere,” she explained.
Understanding boundaries is imperative to the union of a blended family.
“I understand my boundaries as a bonus mom. I also understand where my role starts and ends. So I am not trying to nuff up myself in things that really may or may not concern me,” said Tami.
However, if she is asked to give her opinion on a situation, she will not hesitate.
“We are very lucky because we have been doing this for years. Those lines are very blurry now because we have been parenting day to day, but in the beginning, I understood those boundaries and it takes a lot of maturity to do that. This is not about the foolishness that people try to make it about. We are literally trying to raise our children in a loved environment,” said Tami.