Thu | Aug 6, 2020

Let's Reason | Collective Trauma And The Loss Of The Woman's Voice - Part II

Published:Monday | February 13, 2017 | 12:00 AM

It infuriates me when an adult male, raised by a woman, is solely reliant on others for his feeding and care. Again, cooking and washing skills did not come encoded in the female DNA unless there is new research to which I haven't been privy. As women, we have a duty to use our undesirable experiences to raise the next generation better than we were raised.

There is no excuse in this century for a female child to do chores from which a male is excused. Both should learn to wash, cook, and clean. Both should learn that respect is a two-way street. Both should learn that child creation and childrearing are the responsibility of both parties. Bottom line: we have to change how we think and raise our children.


What's expected


On another note, women are subject to physical, emotional, and sexual abuse in numbers too large to accurately count. We are expected to give ourselves and our bodies anytime because we have a man. We are expected to be silent when in the company of other men and expected to not be offended when ignored or dismissed when men only acknowledge each other in our presence. Most important, we are subject to ego killings when we don't uphold the fragile male ego housed in their strong bodies. We have to become less so that men feel like men.

Now, I love a well-thinking man like any other woman does, but I also love women equally. I believe that we have the capacity to outdo each other. I believe that everyone has the right to be here. Everyone has the right to be heard. Everyone was born with and is entitled to a voice. Everyone bleeds red blood. Being male or female doesn't, and shouldn't, disqualify anyone from being seen and valued.

It is our responsibility to change the tide, and it has to start with owning that our collective strength is under attack. Our culture is traumatising our greatest assets. The loss of the woman's voice means the loss of identity and is remedied by cultivating a core value of equality and respect in our children.

Finally, women and men are not the same, but one hand washes the other. Loving someone is not the same as loving that person's body. Respecting another is not only when you are on good terms. And having a committed relationship doesn't mean that she was stupid enough to choose you.

- Dr Susaye Rattigan is a clinical psychologist and life and business coach. She is currently practising at Health + Wellness, Sagicor Montego Bay Shopping Centre in St James. She specialises in women's health issues and empowerment with a focus on success and empowerment strategies. She can be reached at