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Stories by Gordon Robinson

Published:Sunday | October 25, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson, Contributor

On Heroes Day, I watched with bemusement as Phillip Paulwell displayed what looked like his best Hercule Poirot impression (David Suchet's version, NOT Peter Ustinov's) mincing his way to the King's House platform to accept his Order of Distinction....

Published:Sunday | October 4, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson, Contributor

I suppose you live and learn.Until September 20, I thought I knew a thing or five about Jamaica's dysfunctional political system and the grief and destruction it was currently wreaking on the economy and on the society. On September 20, I found out...

Published:Tuesday | August 11, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson, Contributor

Last Wednesday, fantasyland Apocrypha's Naughty News Network (NNN) was all cranked up as roving reporter Fritz Kebab announced a massive power cut on North Street, one of tiny Apocrypha's five streets. Apparently, systems were overloaded because of...

Published:Sunday | August 9, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson, Contributor

The past week marked 180-odd years of Emancipation and 50-odd of political Independence.Yet we still operate a corrupt system of government compounded by a corrupt national mindset; a generalised disdain for propriety; and a deep-rooted belief in...

Published:Tuesday | August 4, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson, Contributor

Why do people 'confess'? People usually confess because they're guilty. Most confessions are 'coerced' (few confess 'voluntarily'). But 'coercion' is a complicated concept, despite the law recognising only confessions obtained under physical duress...

Published:Tuesday | July 28, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson, Contributor

Gene Autry, the Beast, and I had given up raising a fourth for dominoes when we heard, away in the distance, "If a macca, mek it jook yu!"The Dunce! We greeted him with mixed feelings because his arrival interrupted Haemorrhoid's response (using one...

Published:Tuesday | July 21, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson, Contributor

A recent United States Supreme Court judgment confirming gay marriage's legitimacy seems to have put the wind up local homophobes.Booklist Boyne, slithering around, panic-stricken, in a shipload of religious dogma, spent two consecutive Sundays...

Published:Saturday | July 18, 2015 | 11:06 PMGordon Robinson

So, a deal has been struck with Greece. EU leaders/lenders are desperately trying to save face by spinning the 'deal' as including tougher austerity requirements than Greeks rejected in the recent referendum. Maybe. But there were significant...

Published:Tuesday | June 30, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson, Contributor

An updated version of this column was sent Friday, June 26 but an older version was published earlier today. Here is the correct version:Apparently, unless one has “significant prosecutorial experience”, one is disqualified from offering a valid...

Published:Tuesday | June 23, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson, Contributor

Again, Jamaica's education ministry has it ass backwards.No, this isn't a sex-education column. Today's rant is about the monumental disaster called GSAT. Under different names, this example of national child abuse has been passed off as a '...

Published:Sunday | June 21, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson, Contributor

On Tuesday, June 16, I was filled with good intentions. I planned to watch Peter Phillips' much-hyped broadcast to the nation but, instead, I fell asleep. You see, Monday night, I'd been inveigled to play in a bridge tournament for the first time in...

Published:Sunday | June 14, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson, Contributor

I was disappointed with 'CVM at Sunrise's' June 3 discussion on age-appropriate sex.The topic was something like 'Older men with underage girls', although it was acknowledged that the issue was wider since many 50+ lechers take advantage of very...

Published:Tuesday | June 9, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson, Contributor

Which sporting association, including FIFA, suffers as chronically from maladministration as the West Indies Cricket Board (WICB)?Pundits expressed shock when Sepp Blatter, whose name alone conjures images of urological accidents, was re-elected...

Published:Sunday | June 7, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson, Contributor

Last Tuesday, my column ('Bloodsuckers') highlighted the latest example of taxpayer sacrifice on the altar of revenue cash flow, namely the 'new' 3% 'withholding tax'.Like any good lawyer, using 700 words where 70 would do, I eventually got around...

Published:Tuesday | June 2, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson, Contributor

One Saturday afternoon long ago, Gene Autry and I sat down for a domino game against The Beast and The Dunce.The Dunce began, as usual, with his mantra, 'If a macca, mek it jook yu!', then smoothly segued into "A dis macca me a go jook yu wid" as...

Published:Sunday | May 31, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson, Contributor

It's time to find out if Cliff Williams, despite the ravages of anno domini, remains educable. It doesn't appear so from his May 10 article ('Gordon Robinson galloping above his handicap') in which he rambled; failed to address the issues; and, in a...

Published:Tuesday | May 26, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson

Why am I not surprised at Government attacking Jamaica's endemic child abuse problem like a Square One soca song?Square One's popular recording, Kitty Cat, urges fans to "attack it from the back", the popularity of which lyric in otherwise...

Published:Sunday | May 24, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson

In the celebrated case of Arthur Williams v Andrew Holness, the Supreme Court declared:"1 ... the request for and procurement of pre-signed and undated letters of resignation and letters of authorisation by the leader of the Opposition from persons...

Published:Tuesday | May 19, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson

In that fantasyland called Apocrypha, the nation was all agog at the upcoming film festival.Anticipation surrounding the final day was particularly high, as movies starring prominent Apocryphan politicians were scheduled. The most anticipated movie...

Published:Sunday | May 17, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson, Contributor

It's official.The director of public prosecutions (DPP) is of the view that egregious nepotism by a public officer in high public office is not corruption. I kid you not.The loud, rumbling noise you hear isn't coming from Caribbean Fault seismic...

Published:Tuesday | April 21, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson

There are real tensions in Jamaican society between strict Christian dogma and life's realities.Take, for example, adultery. Christianity teaches against it. Other faiths have cured the adultery vs reality dilemma with polygamy. After all, if the...

Published:Sunday | April 19, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson

Guess who wrote this:"I am encouraged to engage Dr Patrick White in a debate on atheism because of his respectful, courteous and measured response to my recent piece on morality. We don't have to be rude and abrasive when we disagree, and Dr White's...

Published:Tuesday | April 14, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson

Last week, President Barack Obama visited Jamaica to much excitement.He's a modern hero to people of African heritage everywhere. It was uplifting that, with minor exceptions, Jamaica's endemic political tribalism was discarded in favour of an...

Published:Sunday | April 12, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson

Finally, the rumour that National Heroine Nanny never existed is laid to rest. Current political heroine, Portia Simpson Miller, settled the issue when, in response to heckling from an unruly set of gays in New York, asserted that the blood of...

Published:Tuesday | April 7, 2015 | 12:00 AMGordon Robinson

Late one Easter Saturday, playing against Dr S. Blank and Jimmy Hunchback, I drew the following: double-six; six-four; five-ace; four-ace; trey-deuce; deuce-ace and ace-blank. Playing REAL dominoes (not the artificial 'winners pose' version)...

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