No taxes for teachers!

TEACHERS GET no respect. Your average Jamaican teacher is an overworked, underpaid and deeply stressed out individual trying mightily not to edge into the red section of the thermostat that screams 'congenitally insane'.

The basic school teachers don't have it that bad, kids under the age of six have not yet begun to learn to curse with flambouyance, or developed a fascination with weapons. And they still harbour respect for the voice of authority.

But once kids inch past the age marker called '8' they realize that they have more or less outgrown their fear of propped up authority figures. And then there is hell to pay for primary school teachers, who are arguably the most stressed out teachers on the planet.

Mondays through Fridays, they are forced to contend with an army of gremlins in a small room, who couldn't care less about the national tree, or the what the colours of the Jamaican flag mean. And you can forget about the ABC's, or the 3 Rs (have you ever noticed that only one of the three R's actually begins with the letter R?).

Armed with only chalk, a blackboard, and eloquent books that boast sparkling paragraphs such as 'See Jane Run. Run Jane Run.", teachers have had to become increasingly innovative to ensure that your kids are not total retards.

And what do they get in return? Nada. Zilch. Zip.

Job satisfaction? That's a laugh. Satisfaction wears thin faster than the nylons in Dancehall Queen Carlene's lingerie, especially when you try to write your scheme (what the hell is a scheme anyway?) by the light of a candle because JPS disconnected your electricity supply again.

The students are little more than submutants who behave in a way that invites homicide. I know that many times teachers have dreamed of just bludgeoning to death that greasy foul-mouthed kid who keeps looking under the skirts of his female classmates, with his Pokemon lunchpan.

Teachers used to maintain some order with useful teaching aids (remember those leather straps soaked in kerosene oil), but you can forget about that now. Hit somebody's kid, and his 300 pound mother is liable to come to the classroom, and whale the tar out of you, while the kid watches.

And high school is no picnic either.

Jamaican adolescents are the most dangerous animals on the planet. They are creepy, they talk about death and killing with terrible ease, and they revel in playing bloodsport games like Doom III online with their strange little friends. They pack guns, knives, in their knapsacks beside their Certificate Mathematics texts and their vats of bleaching cream.

There are no metal detectors. Teachers live in mortal fear of their lives, after giving an 'F' grade for some retard's joke of a creative writing assignment that comprised two words 'It rained'. No wonder some of them just tune out, and just do the bare essentials to get the job done, and stay alive.

And you can't blame them, it's not like they're getting paid, and plus, those jars of bleaching cream the kids have, are dangerous.

I remember my Wolmer's high school days fondly...teachers like Mrs. Leyow, Mrs. Robb, Mrs. Chevannes, and Mrs. Jeffries helped to hone me into the emotionally tormented individual that comes to you on this page on time stolen from my employers.

Teachers are important. They are on the frontlines of a scorched earth campaign by sick adults against the nation's children. They are often the first ones to spot cases of physical abuse, incest and psychological abuse in their chilren.

Yet, parents bitch about the extra holidays teachers get. The reality of the situation is that most teachers are forced to work straight through the year, holidays are reserved for acquiring jobs to supplement their incomes. There is a mass exodus of teachers every Summer to grungy low-paying jobs in the USA.

This has got to stop. And that's why I believe that teachers should not pay any taxes (and this is not because my mom is a teacher).

If the Prime Minister had any chutzpah, he would make this law effective immediately. And then maybe we could take his 'commitment to education' speeches seriously then.

you can e-mail me at cmillsy@yahoo.com

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