Errol MillerLIFE WOULD be very drab if we could not laugh even in serious times. This attitude has often got me into hot waters, when in the midst of some very grave and serious situation I see and make reference to the funny side of things. But it is not only possible to take 'serious things and make jokes' but also to say some serious things while joking. Nevertheless, I apologise in advance to those readers of this column who expect me to be dead serious all the time. But I just have to share this one with those who like myself appreciate a funny thing when they see it.
The banner headline, coloured in red, of St. Maarten's Daily Herald newspaper of Wednesday, September 20, immediately got my undivided attention. The headline read: 'Ghost civil servants must report or face consequences'. The essence of this news item was that the island government had identified 45 ghost civil servants who would be instructed, via hand-delivered letters, to report back to work immediately or face the consequences.
My first reaction was to dismiss the possibility that the island government in St. Maarten had found a way to employ ghosts and expected them to appear all the time. On the other hand, if they had found a way to employ the dead this would be a tremendous breakthrough in recruiting labour.
My second reaction was to find out if this was a case of fraud in which these so-called ghost civil servants were fictitious persons whose names had somehow got onto the pay sheet. The island government could be using hand-delivered letters, requiring signatures of receipt, in order to expose the fraud. In these days when there is so much talk about corruption, ghost civil servants could be an instance of a scam. It turned out that these ghost civil servants in St. Maarten were not frauds. They were real ghosts that were well known.
They were not dead but living ghosts. There was nothing fraudulent or fictitious about them; they, along with their names and addresses, were known to the authorities.
The big problem was that these living ghosts only materialised for pay each month but were not showing up for work each day. What the government was trying to do was to get them not only to materialise for pay but also for work on a daily basis. These living ghosts were being threatened to the effect that if they did not materialise for work, they would run the risk of being separated from the pay each month.
An official of the government warned these ghosts not to run to doctors to get doctors' certificates because they would be subjected to medical examination by government doctors and could be given a medical discharge from the civil service. That same official explained that the decision to get tough with these well known ghosts was the desire of the government to either save costs if they did not show up or increase productivity if they did.
I was about to have a hearty and healthy laugh about these ghost civil servants in St. Maarten, when I stopped to think about our situation here in Jamaica. Did we have a lot of civil servants who made themselves into ghosts by not coming to work on a daily basis but only show up for pay each month?
Leisure on full pay
From my experience, that is not how the ghost situation works in Jamaica. Here in Jamaica it works the other way around. The government turns some civil servants into ghosts. They are sent home from work while still receiving their pay each month. In our circumstances the government gets tough by transforming some civil services, especially some high level ones, into ghosts without any intention to save cost or increase productivity.
Given the choice I would rather be a ghost civil servant in Jamaica than in St. Maarten. In St. Maarten ghosts run the risk of being dismissed. In Jamaica ghost civil servants run no such risks. Rather they have the time to start other careers or to enjoy leisure on full pay. That makes the life of a ghost worth living!
Errol Miller is Professor and head of the Institute of Education, UWI, Mona.
