Dear Pastor,
I am 16 years old and I am in high school. I am living with my parents. They are very strict. I have one sister. My parents don't trust me. They don't allow me to go anywhere alone. They always send my younger sister with me.
Sometimes I want to go to church in the evenings but my mother always says that I am to ask my father. I am afraid to ask him.
I feel more comfortable talking to my friends. Every Sunday evening my friends go for walks in the streets, but I have to stay at home. I have a boyfriend, but we never had sex. We kiss and make hickeys. I talk to him because I feel comfortable with him. He is 21. My parents don't know about him. Sometimes I would like to tell them, but I cannot.
I attend church every Saturday. I am only a church goer. I am not yet baptised. Is there anything that can be done to prevent parents from being so strict?
B.H., Portland
Dear B.H.,
Your parents know you very well. They are wise parents. They know that you will get yourself in trouble if you are given more freedom. You don't realise what a blessing you have in your parents.
Already you have a boyfriend and both of you are engaged in petting. If you are not careful, before long this 21-year-old man will lure you into bed. You have a spirit of waywardness and your parents have been observing that.
Please listen to your parents. You have many years ahead of you. Don't get involved any further with this 21-year-old man.
Pastor
Wants to change behaviour
Dear Pastor,
I hope you are fine. This is my first letter. I have a big problem. When I turned 14 I started to masturbate. I am now 26 and I am still doing it. I want to stop. If my parents should find out I would be dead meat.
I know that masturbation is a sin. Sometimes I masturbate seven times for the week and sometimes two times. Sometimes my testicles pain me and sometimes I am weak. I really want to stop. I am planning to marry my girlfriend soon.
Please pray for me. Keep up the good work. I am afraid I may get cancer in my testicles.
When I was 16 I used to read a certain adult magazine and watch blue movies. That was wrong. Everytime I watched blue movies I masturbated.
I do not want to tell my girlfriend or my church. Whenever I am at church I am very quiet. I had sex with my cousin at my neighbour's house. I don't want my girlfriend to find out I am having sex with other girls as I love her very much.
Last year I started smoking and drinking with my friends. Some of them are Christians. My parents and the people at church don't know this. Everywhere I go people tell me I am handsome. The members of my church love me.
Pray that God will forgive my sins.
R.T., St. Catherine
Dear R.T.,
Young men, and believe it or not, young women have secretly masturbated for years. Christian young men and women have struggled with this problem. Family counsellors are divided on this matter.
The Bible is silent on this subject. Nevertheless, one must seek to exercise self control at all times. Some counsellors call masturbation "self-abusive" and scripture verses are used to show that it is a sin.
Whether it should be called a sin or not is debatable. One thing is certain after marriage the urge to masturbate subsides.
It is time for you to stop fooling yourself. Stop playing around. Read Romans 12:1. Rededicate your life to God.
Pastor
Don't suffer in silence...seek help
Dear Pastor,
I am a regular reader of your column and admire the way you help people with their problems. I hope that you can help me. I am 17 and I am in high school.
I have noticed some bumps on my pubic area. I don't remember how long they have been there, but they have been there a long time. They don't hurt, but when I sweat they itch, and when I squeeze them, pus and blood come. Sometimes they go away.
I am sure I do not have STD as I am not sexually involved. I would love to know what are these bumps.
I always wanted to pursue a career in medicine but I stopped doing the sciences and I am concentrating on the arts. Now that I have changed my mind about medicine, I am doing well in school. I am hoping to sit seven CXC's. Pray for me as I am determined to do well.
I am still wetting my bed. I am ashamed. When I was 10, I was taken to the doctor and I was given some tablets and told that I would stop soon. The pills only helped for a short time.
Please help me. I have a miserable life.
C., St. Ann
Dear C.,
I urge you to go to a doctor. I know that many young ladies are reluctant to discuss these types of problems with their parents, especially their mothers. However, if they do not, they suffer in silence, because often they do not have the money to go to the doctor. I hope that you will get the money from your parents or a friend to go to the doctor.
When you visit the doctor, make sure you discuss the problem of bed wetting.
I wish you well. I hope that you will do well in school. I believe that you are a serious student. Study hard and put your confidence in God.
Pastor
Sex a problem for older gent
Dear Pastor,
I love to have sex with my woman in a certain position, but my friend told me that having sex in that position may give a man prostate cancer. Is that true?
The other matter I want to discuss is this: I am 61 and I am having difficulty having an erection. Whenever I have an erection and I am having sex, I discharge within 4 or 5 minutes. I don't know what to do. I feel fit.
D., St. Catherine
Dear D.,
Don't be upset because I have not mentioned your favourite position. It is the first time that I am hearing that this position causes prostate cancer.
You need to see a doctor. This problem you are having ought not to scare you. Many things may cause erectile problem. The doctor can explain that to you. He will also tell you how to deal with premature ejaculation. So see a doctor soon.
Pastor
