By Claude Mills,
Staff Reporter
THE FACE of marriage is changing. There are now advertisements in the newspapers where "men of the cloth" offer their services with secular panache such as "marry today, or tomorrow (or whenever)...after all, why delay?"
Others are lettered in more sober language.
Those carrying out the practice insist they are doing everything according to the book.
Just ask Dr. Robin Grant, also called "Reverend JP", the self-described "Wedding Pastor" who advertises his services almost weekly. He has conducted more than 500 weddings since 1984.
"I don't think there is anything unethical about advertising," he said. "I don't marry people just because they have money, I ask questions ... initial conversations are important before I decide to conduct or not," Dr. Grant said.
The idea of advertising wedding services is not too farfetched, given the amount of money involved and the sheer number of weddings taking place. There has been a huge leap in the number of marriages recorded -- from 18,015 in 1995 to 26,671 in 1999 alone, according to figures from the Statistical Institute of Jamaica.
Dr. Grant said he has married couples on beaches, in gardens and even in the mountains. He often acts as a second option for couples whose desire to marry has been spurned by pastors of their own denomination.
"Because of the advice I give and the counselling involved, I believe everything is in order, and there is nothing below board about what I do," he said.
He is a minister of the United Church in Jamaica and the Cayman Islands, but is not in charge of a church.
Dr. Grant charges a basic fee of $5,500, which can vary based on the number of counselling sessions the couple may require before the wedding.
"There are cases of semi-emergency where the option of in articulo mortis (where one party is at the point of death) is applied, or for someone about to undergo a life-threatening operation, so there is a need for what I do," he said.
Still, the "wedding ads" have ruffled the frocks of several religious leaders.
"The practice of advertising to perform marriage only cheapens the ministry. We don't advertise anything we do," said Rev. Ernle Gordon, rector of St. Mary's Anglican Church.
"Anglican priests are not allowed to charge to perform weddings else their licences will be revoked. In our church, a wedding is one of our sacraments, nobody is allowed to charge...we are vehicles of God," he continued.
According to Rev. Gordon, Anglican priests are forbidden from performing marriage ceremonies that stray too far from the traditional format.
"Since last year, the Diocesan Bishop has forbidden priests to perform ceremonies in gardens, or by the sea, beach or a river; the ceremony has to be performed in church," he said.
"We are not licensed to go to those locations; we are ministers of the church," said Rev. Gordon.
Rev. Dr. Maitland Evans, general secretary of the United Church of Jamaica and the Cayman Islands, said: "Weddings, like many aspects of the church, have become a business. The church has become a business and that is not a good thing unless it is a part of the process of caregiving and making a connection with a care-seeker at critical times in his or her life. I have no problem with the principle, but the question is whether the ads are sensitive or not."
Rev. Evans pointed out that none of the Ministers of the United Church advertises. "We are very careful and serious about that," he continued.
But ads aside, many more couples are moving away from traditional wedding ceremonies. There are now several permutations to the traditional rice-throwing, tuxedo-and-white-gown-in-a-chapel weddings of old, which peeve some "men of the cloth".
"Everything is relative now, this is the philosophy of the free market. Marriages in the nude don't matter any longer because of the money involved. Marriage is no longer an absolute...everything, including morality, is relative and has a price," Rev. Gordon observed.
There are tales of couples who put an exclamation mark on their wedding by jumping off diving-boards into the pool after exchanging their vows - in tux, gown and all. Others walk the avant-garde landscape of 'jacuzzi weddings', sea and garden-side marriages and post-wedding dancehall sessions.
Some pastors refuse to cater to the "colourful" needs of their congregation, hence members of the flock look outside and "Reverends for hire" take centre stage.
"I've found that tastes are changing. I have had some unusual requests. I once married a couple in a mango tree. In 1988, a couple wanted a wedding where the bride, groom and witnesses were all naked," Rev. Evans said.
"I felt they weren't serious so I didn't do it," he concluded.
Shotgun weddings
Shotgun weddings are frowned upon by the religious fraternity.
In the Roman Catholic church, three months' notice is normally given to the pastors to allow courses of "marriage preparation", counselling and time to establish the "freedom to marry".
"The parties are asked to produce baptismal certificates because in our church, all wedding records are sent to the original place of baptism. Further, we get two witnesses to sign an affidavit to say that neither of the parties is presently married. But the occasional one gets through. I married a man who we found out later already had a wife," said Monsignor Kenneth Mock Yen, of Sts. Peter and Paul Roman Catholic Church.
Although the number of weddings has increased significantly, the number of divorces has fallen from 1,332 in 1995 to 1,131 in 1999.
