OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE disorder is the worst feeling in the world," says Maria, a 27-year-old clerk. "My thoughts would immobilise me so that I couldn't function and I'd get extremely anxious. I used to worry constantly and the worries would interrupt my entire day. Sometimes, I'd waste hours thinking over things and get very upset. If I went to the grocery store, I would feel totally overwhelmed because I had to decide what to get. It was like I was afraid of making a mistake. I felt like everyone else in the world was normal and there was something wrong with me. It was a horrible feeling."
Maria has suffered with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) for as long as she can remember.
"For years," says Maria, "I've had to make lists in order to get through the day. The lists would help me keep my thoughts and anxieties in control. But my obsessive thoughts still made me chronically late for everything. Sometimes I couldn't get out of the house. I would check myself over and over -- "Did I do this?" or "Did I do that?"
Maria continues : "I would then recheck the stove to see if I turned it off properly; then the doors and windows to see if they were locked, over and over again. It made me miss work, and I definitely lost at least one job because of it. I would also have a very hard time to get work done on time due to my checking and rechecking many times to make sure it was just right.
"I could never go to bed or leave the house unless I had every thing in the house just right. But the hardest thing for me was making decisions, like picking something out at the store. I would be afraid of getting the wrong thing, so I just wouldn't get anything. I never wanted to make the wrong choice and it would also affect my work, my friendships, everything. I just couldn't make decisions because I didn't trust myself.
"I didn't think there was any hope. That's when I went to the doctor, who diagnosed me with OCD and prescribed medication. I was so desperate. But a couple of months later, my symptoms were under control. It used to be that I couldn't go into the grocery store and make a decision about what I wanted. But I was in the store yesterday, buying my things, and I didn't feel anxious. I am also doing well at work. Thank goodness, my doubts and obsessions are manageable."
Obsessive compulsive disorder is a serious but treatable, medical condition. Behavioural therapy and other psychological treatments are less readily available and more expensive in the short term. They may be tried when drugs have failed and also in chronic cases where the evidence for drug effectiveness is much weaker.
- Dr. Earl Wright,
psychiatrist.
