Henriques By Avis Henriques, Contributor
RECENTLY, I have been testing friends and acquaintances by posing my own little riddle every so often. Can you do better than they have done?
Riddle-me-dis, riddle-me-dat;
Guess me dis riddle and per'aps not.
Which is the fastest growing animal species in Jamaica?
You know, with all this talk of inadequate protection for our endangered species owing to a combination of ignorance, neglect and the perennial plaint of there being not being enough money in the budget to meet the essential needs of a population growing in numbers and mired in poverty, nobody has paid attention to the rapid spread of the other and newer species. The answer to my riddle is obvious to anyone who observes what 'almost' happened and even suffered a "has happened" incident. The answer is, of course, "the road hog!"
They have become more and more numerous and, as the festive season advanced, their total disregard of the accepted standards of safety, not to mention road courtesy, deteriorated so rapidly that I began to wonder whether there had been a new Road Code. I bought a copy of the latest edition and was pleased to note that there had been no major adjustments. The almost universal disregard can be attributed to ignorance, illiteracy, (or did they really pass the driver's test?), selfishness or total lack of concern or consideration for the safety of others.
Why is everybody in such a hurry? Did the Christmas/New Year festive season come upon them by surprise? As I look at the grim faces, the tense and scowling expressions, the intent determination to overtake, regardless of consequences, I am reminded of an incident which terrified me many years ago. In my mid-teens I was invited to visit a friend's property for a couple weeks of the summer holidays. I must confess that my mother who could and did relate grim tales of pet bulls trampling their owners and of cows attacking anyone who appeared to threaten their calf, had given me a legacy of fear that I might suffer a similar gory death. One day our host invited us to see the cows being dipped. To my horror, the herd came rushing out in our direction! Had Merlene seen me take off at top speed up the hill, she would have surely offered to help perfect my style; speed I certainly had!
When I see the streams of cars bearing down upon me, I am forcefully reminded of that incident. There's no hill of refuge to climb as they stream relentlessly past the unfortunates who wait, seeking an opportunity to join the main flow of the traffic, watching perhaps twenty vehicles rush by, ignoring their very existence. Then, I remember, this is the year 2000 and our language is changed to meet the demands of the new millennium. In the distant past when courtesy existed, "push out" was something a naughty child did with his tongue. Now, it is what a road hog does when, his patience exhausted, he forces his way forward, partially blocking the nearer stream of traffic with his vehicle, forcing the others of his species to acknowledge his presence and recognise that he also has "bought" a piece of the road.
One cannot conclude a study of this phenomenon without referring to the behaviour at an intersection which the police (and some more timid members of the human species) believe is controlled by the traffic lights of red, amber and green. There are so many who admire the pretty colours while disregarding their function. It is quite common to count four or even six vehicles whose drivers were convinced that they could "beat the light". Miraculously, they escape without the disastrous results when a truck full of excursionists failed to "beat the train" at Jacob's Hut railway crossing. Worst of all, perhaps, are those road hogs which overtake on the left and cut across directly in front of the vehicle on their right when the light changes to green!
You may be amazed at this brief attempt to depict the contribution of our road hogs to the steady deterioration in our society. We are well on the way to becoming a nation devoid of concern and manners and constraint. Already we display for all to see that we adopt fully the theme of a song which recently made something of a revival on the popular music circuits: "I did it my way". My mother would have said "a nation of spoilt brats!" Worst of all, those who are let loose on our public highways and major city arteries display to the maximum degree the lack of accountability and the obsessive secrecy which leads them to conceal their intentions from others even to the extent of not giving any signal no flickering lights, no arm outstretched, not even a couple limp fingers at the window to indicate whether they are slowing down, stopping, or turning. Happy grunting they may enjoy in another world: just leave me to enjoy this one for a few more years!
