Tony DeyalABOUT 500 years ago (the malicious and suspicious say the number is more like 666), the Pope divided the New World into two, giving most of it to Spain and the rest to Portugal. He drew a line through the map and formalised his decision by issuing a Papal Bull. The English, recognising the bull for what it was, did not accept the Pope's decision. Thus Trinidad, Barbados, Guyana, Jamaica and the other English-speaking countries, on and off the mainland, became part of the British Empire.
While it is said that the sun never set on the British Empire because the Almighty would not trust an Englishman in the dark, the Pope was even less credible. In the Middle Ages, for instance, many Popes were elevated to office following the murder of their predecessors. From 882 to 1046 A.D., there were 37 popes, some of whom served for only a few weeks. Leo V (903) had been Pope for only a month before being imprisoned by Christophorus, who then enthroned himself.
In later centuries, murder gave way to bribery, and about 40 popes reputedly bought their jobs. Corruption and nepotism were the least of the problems of the papacy. The son and daughter of Pope Innocent VIII lived with him in the Vatican. Among the four illegitimate children of Alexander VI were the murderous Cesare Borgia and the poisoner, Lucrezia Borgia. Leo X, who adorned his court with all the entertainers, poets, scholars and other hangers-on that money could buy, said at his enthronement, "Since God has given me the papacy, let us enjoy it." Paul III (1534 1539) had four children and made two of his teenage grandsons Cardinals.
Even though the Church has been open about the existence of unworthy Popes, it maintains that their spiritual capacities were unimpaired by their temporal failings, an argument that is familiar to Bill Clinton supporters. Although those profligate and prodigal Popes appointed Bishops and Cardinals, consecrated priests, forgave sins and even baptised babies (including their own or their children's), the Church maintains that these actions were not invalidated by the fact that the Pope might have been in a state of sin at the time.
Now, in the Year of Our Lord, 2001, the Pope is dividing the Americas again, this time with specific reference to Trinidad and Tobago. He has appointed a new Archbishop, not of our people and not of our choosing. While many may question the Pope's infallibility, limiting it only to certain formal matters of faith and morals, he has made no bones about his inchargeability, particularly in the matter of appointments to the highest offices in the Church. An American, Edward Joseph Gilbert, has become our new Archbishop.
According to American newspaper editor, H.L. Mencken, an Archbishop is a Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ. Although it comes at a bad time for this country, the papal bull has not cowed many of the people, including the priests, of Trinidad and Tobago. While Europe suffers from Foot-and-Mouth disease, we suffer from foot-in-the-mouth disease, among others.
What has come to pass is that we are now in the age of the bypass. Some of our top politicians, on both sides of the political divide, are having, have had, or are due to have by-pass surgery. At the same time, the courts are trying to determine whether our electoral laws and procedures have been by-passed. We hear that the Government's Tenders Regulations are being regularly bypassed. Now, to crown it all, the irony of ironies, our own, very respected, respectable, religious and responsible local priests have also been bypassed.
Interestingly, one of the great schisms and traumas of the Church, the Reformation led by Martin Luther, came about because of the Church's attempt to bypass the rules for entrance into heaven. Faith and conformity to the commandments and laws of God were replaced by indulgences which, for a small fee, paved the way to Heaven for the purchaser. It was a sort of buy-pass. What is even more interesting is that while the first hurricane Gilbert bypassed Trinidad, we are now firmly in the grip of the second. The bypass has become an impasse.
In Guyana it would be termed an eyepass or gross disrespect. Muriel Spark, the novelist, said that she wouldn't take the Pope seriously because he's a Pole first, a Pope second and maybe a Christian third.
However, this Pope must be taken seriously. Instead of complaining, we should be negotiating with Rome, remembering, as the late Head of the corrupt and discredited Vatican Bank, Cardinal Paul Marcinkus said, "You can't run the Church on Hail Marys. We should do like the Brewers Association who offered the Pope $1 million to change the wording of the Lord's Prayer from our daily bread to our daily beer".
The shocked Pontiff said, "Absolutely not". The offer went up to $10 million. He again declined. When it reached $50 million, he asked the Brewers' representative to leave the room. He then called in the Cardinal and whispered, "When does our contract with Pillsbury expire?"
Tony Deyal was last seen asking whether those persons protesting the Archbishop's appointment can be called loose canons. Is it a case of sour grapes contaminating the communion, or a genuine whine of astonishment?
