Lover lied about his age

Dear Pastor,

I am 27 years old and I have children. I am in a relationship with a man and I truly love him. He says that he loves me. When we met he lied about his age and he told me that he has his own house. I believed him and I went to spend time with him twice where he was living. I found out after that the house belongs to his uncle who was on long leave abroad.

He said he didn't tell me his real age because he was afraid I would have told him he is too young. He said he likes older women because they are more mature and serious about life. He said his uncle is not married, and he promised to will the house to him.

One evening while he was in the bathroom I opened the draw in the night table and I saw a picture of a naked girl. The picture was taken on the same bed the both of us were sleeping, so I knew he was the one who took the picture. You should see how the girl skin up. I was so surprised. I could never make a man take a picture of me in that position. Until now I have not told him that I saw the picture, but these things make me not trust him. But I still love him.

I told him I want to get married and go into my church, but every time I say that he tells me that he is not ready to get married as yet. My children's father kept other women with me. I couldn't take it, so I left him. I don't want to run up and down.

Whenever we are having sex, he doesn't want to use a condom. He wants me to get pregnant but I don't want to have anymore children until I get married. I am secretly taking the pill. I have to work very hard to support my children, so I don't want anymore of them without a father.

T.C., St. Catherine

Dear T.C.,

You would like to get married very soon. This young man with whom you are having an intimate relationship is not interested in marriage. So you may have to wait a very long time. How is it that you will like this man to marry you and you don't trust him? Do you believe he would change if both of you get married? That wouldn't happen.

Love is blind, they say. Although this guy lied to you about his age and the house, and you suspect that he has another woman, you continue to love him and are willing to take your chances, so to speak.

If you are willing to take your chances, nothing I say will change your mind. I can only wish you the very best.

Pastor

Embarrassed to have sex

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old and I have a problem that is bothering me very much. I have a girlfriend. She is also 20 years old and she has one child that is not for me. Whenever I try to have sex with her as my penis enters the vagina, I ejaculate and it is really causing a problem between my girlfriend and me. Because of the problem I am afraid to have sex with her. I am very embarrassed.

Sometimes my girlfriend wants to have sex but I can't do it. Sometimes she threatens to keep another man with me. And sometimes when I can't satisfy her, she masturbates right before my eyes and I feel ashamed.

Please see what you can do for me. It would mean a lot to me. Keep up your good work.

E.S., St. Andrew

Dear E.S.,

You are suffering from a condition called premature ejaculation. This condition you can overcome with the help of your partner.

Let us consider a few things. It is a fact that many men learn to control their ejaculation when they have steady relationships. If the problem persists, men and their sexual partner should learn the squeeze technique, the stop-start technique and other methods.

Premature ejaculation may be the result of physical illness, but I doubt very much that is true in your case. Nevertheless, anyone who suffers from premature ejaculation should consult a medical doctor.

Pastor

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