Tony Hendricks, ContributorJamaican women are the most beautiful in the world. Some of them have an hourglass figure and others look great when the sand has run all the way to the bottom."
Tony Hendriks.
What a furore! But it should come as no shock that go-go club owners bid for girls. Football clubs bid for players, owners bid for horseflesh and record companies bid for artists. Anyway go-go clubs are culturally significant. Britain has its pubs, Japan has its karaoke bars, and Jamaica has go-go clubs. If alcohol and a fight are to the Brits what a vicarious career as a pop singer is to the Japanese, then sexual healing is as big a part of Jamaican culture as rice & peas, police & thieves, wind & grind.
Men and women go to go-goes to wind down by watching girls wind up. When you go to a go-go club you'll see women of all shapes and sizes making waves, ripples, tremors even aftershocks as their nether regions jiggle like jelly on a pneumatic drill and there is something mesmerising about it.
Go-go clubs are more than just a voyeur's paradise they're aphrodisiacs, like Barry White, raw oysters and Johnson's Baby Oil. The steamy atmosphere and sexy slow motion movement relaxes, warms and gets you in the mood. Men think about sex every 10 seconds. Fact! A Jamaican entrepreneur will find and supply a lucrative market like a Smart Bomb finds a target, (with an 80 per cent success rate). So go-go clubs are filling a gap in the market.
Once you accept that go-go clubs are part of our culture it's not surprising that the club owners buy their stock at an auction. Where else would you buy go-go goods but at bend down market? Granted a businessman who conducts so crass a trade, isn't hard to imagine in his ancestor's sandals selling people into slavery in West Africa hundreds of years ago, but this isn't slavery and as long as the girls are over age and consenting it's just honest toil for a fair day's wage. The moral dilemma is up to the people involved. It's not illegal. It's immoral, sure, but that's never stopped anyone before.
Harsh reality
The harsh reality is that there's little hope and no jobs for many people in our country right now, so if a young girl can dance her way to solvency with no danger to her life; at least that's something. Sure, better must come but when? And what till then?
Paedophilia is, of course, appalling and heinous, one of society's great ills. Sex with five or 10-year-olds is unthinkable. But it's often extremely difficult to tell the difference between a 15-year-old Lolita and an 18-year-old Legaleesha. So make sure you look, but you better not touch.
Don't be surprised by the cop's stand either. Most men see a naked, gyrating woman and there's usually only one kind of stand they'll have. One club owner said, "At Christmas we pay girls up to $1,000 a night, competition is stiff!"
Not just the competition, the audience and security too no doubt. But I wonder, is it like a car auction? Do the girls sit in a pen for inspection for weeks before the sale? How do they arrive, by "trailer load a gal" or "nuff gal in a bungle"?
At motor shows girls adorn cars, but in this case instead of a babe sitting on a brand new Honda she should come of her own Accord.
Apparently as well as brand new second hand cars you can buy used models and old bangers of 50. Why not, cars and women have lots in common. Bit of putty, a nice paint job, some re-upholstering, lots of TLC, a full tank of gas and they look 20 years younger. They don't make 'em like they used to either.
Newer models are fast and streamlined but despite the fact they creak a bit the older ones are reliable and built to last. Unlike photography, fashion modelling and beauty pageants the go-go trade is an equal opportunity employer not just the exclusive territory of high colour, straight nose, cherry cheekbone, mawga gal.
There is something for everyone. Big bumper, thick thigh, yam foot, droopy booby, gap teeth, bald head, one eye, stilt-foot (you know, gal who have leg longer than the rest of her body), hairy leg (nuff man love ooman with leg have so much hair all mongoose get tangle), bad-breath, bow leg, green arm, stink, miserable and even some downright ugly gal. Long live the go-go club, and all who sail in her!
Tony Hendriks can be reread at www.JamaicanPaleface.com or e-mailed and roundly chastised via Jamaican Paleface@aol.com.
