THERE ARE absolutely no good reasons for dating a married man. Even the reasons you thought were good don't stand the test of time and turn out to be bad ideas masquerading as good ideas. Should you find yourself on the brink of temptation, look at these 10 facts before you leap:
He will not commit to a future with you.
Never mind the 'Baby it's you I really love' line, or the 'I've never felt this way before' line either. A man who is in an unhappy or unsatisfying marriage can feel swept away by how wonderful you make him feel. This may sound like a commitment to a future with you, but it is not. Do not confuse his loving the way you make him feel with his loving you enough to make a commitment TO you.
He's got his cake and is eating it, too.
He has the security of a legitimate relationship (his marriage) that helps his public persona and the excitement of an illegitimate one with you to make up for what he's missing in his marriage.
Hiding is exhausting.
There are places you cannot go and things you cannot do together. You may not think so at the beginning but having to keep your relationship a secret can affect your self-esteem, plus you will miss out on all the wonderful aspects of a relationship.
Cheating on his wife tells you how he deals with difficult situations.
You are evidence of how he avoids dealing with unpleasant situations head on. This means that he's also likely to resort to some devious behaviour if and when the two of you encounter relationship problems.
You are only kidding yourself.
Despite his reassurance about how much you mean to him, by not ending his relationship with his wife in an above-board and respectful way -- and not legitimising his relationship with you -- he's showing you how little he thinks of you. Actions speak louder than words. Stop wasting your time. You deserve better than putting up with someone else's leftovers. So the sex might be good, but forbidden fruit gets stale with time.
Time is too precious to waste.
Ever notice how quickly the years go as you get older? Because it's convenient and comfortable, a relationship with a married man can go on for a long time, eating up the precious years you might have had in a healthy relationship with a partner fully committed to you.
Can you love someone who is so
disrespectful of his wife?
The existence of your relationship with a married man tells you how little he respects his wife by lying to her instead of being a man and telling her he wants out.
Lose his respect and it is over.
Although he's the one who pursued you, the one who made it difficult for you to say 'No', and although he tells you how wonderful you are, at some level he is going to have trouble respecting you for settling for such a relationship.
You are not a home wrecker, just an accomplice.
Like it or not, you are a willing participant in a man violating his vows and betraying the trust of his wife -- not to mention grossly disappointing his children, if he has any.
Beware the guilt boomerang.
Many men (and women) have difficulty accepting full responsibility for their deceitful actions. Human nature finds it easier to blame than to accept shame. If he is caught by his wife or conscience, do not be surprised if he tries to blame you and get you to take the fall.
