By Rosemary Parkinson, Freelance Writer
Strips of chicken, shrimp and beef, sweet red and green peppers, onions, black olives, jalapenos (Mexican hot peppers), cheese, tomato, relish, cream cheese, and crispy lettuce when wrapped in soft, warm tortilla create a great taste sensation. - Photo By Rosemary Parkinson
Fajitas
I cannot stop thinking about Margaritaville's Fajitas. I am forlorn with love.
Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville
Norman Manley Boulevard, Negril
Telephone: 957-4467
Opens: Daily, 9:00 a.m.
to 11:00 p.m.
Prices: Begin at US$4
I HAVE never been a lover of what I have always termed 'tourist traps', and for me poor old Jimmy Buffet's 'concoctions' definitely hit into that particular grey area of mine. I mean, after all, a Jimmy Buffet fan is called a Parrothead so why would I want to be a fan for crying out loud. A Parrothead? Dear God!
Honestly, my first visit to any Margaritaville was to the one in Negril some six months ago and it was not pleasant, let me tell you. I was not doing a review. I had just arrived from Kingston, tired and hungry, and my friends informed me that we were going for a hamburger at Margaritaville. They meant the hamburger from hell. I sent it back, I believe, three times. Then there were the apologies from various 'managers', the last one being the most impressive -- tall and good looking (remember the 'healer' guy in the Green Mile) offering me a handshake that nearly broke my wrists and coupons for food. Hello. Sweetheart. "I don't do coupons honey! Just make sure that piece of cardboard is not on the bill." So said, so done.
FLAMING FAJITAS
And then I met Wayne Riley, assistant manager, a couple of months later and my joke was always that "one of these days I am going to just drop in and do a review on Margaritaville -- just watch me talk about those hamburgers of yours". He always answered: "Why not," with a kind of ridiculous smile that seemed to say "come on over and I'll prove you wrong".
I started my Margaritaville trips slowly -- for their Margaritas, actually. A cute tourist of the male species kind insisted they were good and, well, they were great. I even got a real glass. No plastic cups for me. No sah! Then one particular night while watching Lord Buffet's photo screen-printed on a banner dancing in the wind to the sounds of reggae and, of course, drinking my new found love -- Margaritas -- I noticed platter after platter of something sizzling kept passing me by. I asked, and was told: Flaming Fajitas. Okay! Tell you what, Riley my man, I want one. And so said so done.
This is the big test. I giggled quietly, whispering the story of my previous experience to my friend. Got them now. Time for the review of reviews. Just because I was actually enjoying myself at Margaritaville, reading all of Jimmy Buffet's corny sayings written all over the place, watching people swinging in hammocks with fluorescent 'bongs' filled with alcohol in their hands, half naked women on the TV, one Mr. Bridges at the mike belting out Country & Western songs like 'Why don't we go home and screw, I just found a water bed for me and you', certainly did not mean that the food was good. I set myself up to put my teeth into this joint.
MAMA MIA! DIOS MIO AND AY YA YAY!
My friend ordered the Cockney Fish & Chips and I, the Flaming Combo Fajita. Mama Mia! Dios Mio and Ay Ya Yay!
The order was served by a smiling Audley, his head covered by a signature Cheeseburger Hat, if you please. That alone was hilarious. Then came my sizzler. Now let me explain for those who need it -- Cockney is an English word describing persons born within the Bow Bells of London, i.e. the East End. Fish & Chips & Onion Rings (is this a song?) could be considered the national dish of the East End (though now more Chinese & Turkish people own the Fish & Chips Shops) and Fajita is a Mexican t'ing. It really means beef strips marinated in highly spiced sauce, barbecued and served with more hot sauce wrapped in a soft flour tortilla. If you want to know what a tortilla is -- that is the Mexican version of a roti. Some are made with corn and some with flour. Okay, Okay, I know what you really want to know.
Was it good or not?
I eat my words. I swallow my bad thoughts. I apologise. Shoot me, if you will. I am soooo sorry. I am sooooo ashamed. I love Margaritaville's Fajitas. Just thinking of it as I write this makes me want to jump on the computer table and dance a Mexican Macarena.
The presentation. The taste. The pleasure. The delightful excitement as I wrapped strips of chicken, shrimp and beef, sweet red and green peppers, onions, black olives, jalapenos (Mexican hot peppers), cheese, tomato, relish, cream cheese, crispy lettuce and God knows what else into my soft warm tortilla, gently folded de whole t'ing and then -- that bite. That orgasmic bite.
Dear God, I have sinned. I ate and have continued to eat enormous -- and I mean enormous -- Margaritaville Sizzling Combo Fajitas. I cannot stop thinking about Fajitas. I am forlorn with love.
The Cockney Fish & Chips was delicious -- I had a bite. It was served with beautiful fresh hamburger bread with sesame seeds sprinkled on the top, a huge portion of homemade tartar sauce and crispy onion rings. Simply divine. Okay, so I did not taste the hamburger but a passing diner told me his was simply great.
Guess what? I later found I was tricked. Yep. My first visit and that cardboard hamburger? The gentleman who offered me coupons? Well he is the gorgeous Andre Dixon, Director of Operations for all the Margaritavilles. My furious comments like "Don't you all taste your hamburgers? I mean you come from the home of hamburger, for crying out loud" made him take a closer look at all their food and immediately went straight into action. Great stuff. Head Chef Evrol Ebanks, Negril Branch, must be proud as hell. And Mr. Riley, thanks for not saying a word to me until after the fact. Beast.
Congratulations.
Rosemary's new guru Jimmy Buffet leaves you with these words of wisdom: "What if life is but a cosmic joke like spiders in your underpants." Okay then then.
