By Michelle Barrett, Staff ReporterWITH SAME-sex marriages being legalised in some areas of the United States and Canada, the issue of same sex parenting is bound to come to the fore.
In Western societies the nuclear family - mother, father, children - is accepted as the ideal family make-up. Against this background, it is considered abnormal for a family to have two mothers or two fathers. While there are cases of same-sex partners seeking to adopt, having children through artificial insemination or with a consenting members of the opposite sex, experts fear the impact on the children.
Dr. Vivian Panton, chaplain for the Jamaica Constabulary Force, says that while he supports social expectations of a family having two parents, he does not know that a gay couple can bring up a child without their lifestyle affecting the child.
"Then again, it has a lot to do with the complexity of the human entity. We just cannot predict the effect that a same-sex parent or heterosexual relationship will have on a child's mind."
He adds that he has seen cases where children who grew up in a loving, traditional family unit have turned out to be misfits, while those who grew up in dysfunctional families became well adjusted adults and good citizens. He notes that he has offered counselling to heterosexual parents who have discovered that their children are gay.
"We need to remember that homosexuals are still persons. Even if we don't agree with their lifestyle, we need to affirm their personhood."
Dr. Glenda Simms, executive director of Bureau of Women's Affairs, says that as far back as biblical times, homosexuals have been among us and that this sexual orientation has had an impact on families.
"There are some homosexuals who are currently in heterosexual relationships and are carrying on with same sex relationships outside of their marriage and common-law relationship. So in a way, this does affect family life," she says.
While noting that we are living in a homophobic society, Dr. Simms adds that gay men are seen as more of a threat to society than lesbians and that a heterosexual man will even accept and marry a lesbian as he believes he can change her sexual orientation. As for parenting, she expresses her concerns that children who are raised by homosexual parents may be largely confused and may come under pressure from other children.
"In the final analysis, there is a lot of stigma attached to such relationships and some children just can't handle that." She reckons, however, that it's the special care, guidance and love from parents that really matter, in spite of one's sexual preference.
"From the literature I've read on the topic, it doesn't mean that children will become homosexuals if they live in families headed by parents of the same sex. A parent's sexual orientation does not guarantee that the child will turn out to be the same as them."
OPEN-MINDED CHILDREN
In an www.msn.com article entitled 'The Gay Science', Ann Hulbert refers to an piece from the American Psychiatric Association published in 2000 in Pediatrics magazine. The piece stated that "a growing body of scientific literature demonstrates that children who grow up with one or two gay and/or lesbian parents fare as well in emotional, cognitive, social and sexual functioning as do children whose parents are heterosexual."
In her article, Hulbert pointed to data from the United Stated 1990 census which showed that 27 per cent of lesbians in same sex relationships had given birth and that between five and 17 per cent of gay male households included children. Estimates of the number of children from gay and lesbian parents range from six to 10 million, according to a group called COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere). The data, noted Hulbert, is heavily slanted to well-educated white families and overwhelmingly to lesbian parents as opposed to gay men with children.
Experts, said the msn.com article, speculate that these children are usually open-minded, with some studies showing boys playing less aggressively, while girls ignored gender in their early interests. The girls are also more sexually adventurous as adolescents, according to some studies.
IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT
Dr. Kent Maxwell, director of the Counselling Centre at the Caribbean Graduate School of Theology in St. Andrew and the director of its Counselling Psychology Programme, says same-sex unions are contrary to nature and contrary to God's plan and purpose for the family.
"When children are not raised by both mother and father in a normal family setting, they will eventually suffer as they lack examples set by parents of the opposite sex. Children need both parents for psycho-social development, personal development as well as healthy, moral faith development. They need parents of the opposite sex to be there for them in order to become whole individuals," emphasises Dr. Maxwell.
As for the findings in the studies mentioned above, Dr. Maxwell noted that in order to accept these findings one would have to ask questions such as, was it an objective study? What were the demographics involved? How was this study conducted?
"Anyhow you look at it same sex parenting is not ordained by God so it can't be beneficial to the child/children involved in these families."
To the question of parents learning how to handle their child's homosexual preference, Dr. Maxwell says they should continue to love their children unconditionally without approving of their behaviour.
"Children also have to make that distinction as well and know that their parents love them even tough they may not approve of their sexual preference or their partners."
'ACCEPT IT'
Psychiatrist Dr. Anthony Allen says that while he has not had any experience dealing with same-sex parents, he believes that the homosexual lifestyle should be accepted as an alternative, rather than a deviation from the normal lifestyle.
"Although there has not been any study done in Jamaica on this issue, there might be a possibility of an increased chance that a child with parents of the same-sex would eventually enter a same-sex union.
"What is likely, though, is that they would develop less skills to deal with a healthy heterosexual relationship as they will not be exposed to how a man should treat a woman, and vice versa."
Marianne, a lesbian professional in her late 20s, says she has been seriously considering having children with her lesbian lover. However, she has some reservations about doing this in Jamaica as she believes the circumstances would be very trying.
"Unlike other areas of the world such as the United States and parts of Europe where such families are accepted, I doubt that Jamaicans will ever readily accept homosexual relationships much less same-sex parenting. It's a tricky situation growing up children this way, but as a parent you're gonna have to deal with it."
