They are your friends, neighbours, relatives, and co-workers, yet most of you will never know or recognise the lesbian in your midst. These women say they have learned the art of leading secret lives because to do otherwise would mean facing abuse, humiliation and even harm.
Two women from vastly different social and economic backgrounds have cracked open the door to offer Flair an insight into their world.
SHE IS a well-known uptown girl who lives in a posh apartment complex in upper St. Andrew. She attended a Catholic all-girls' high school, then continued her education in Canada. She prefers not to disclose her identity (so let's call her Jodie) although she tells us that she has come out of the closet.
I was intrigued as to why Jodie refuses to put her name on record if, in fact, she has openly declared her lesbianism. After a minute of silence, she answers: "It's just not that easy. Sure, my family and friends all know that I am gay. I am certain that several people suspect that I am gay, however, there are other reasons why I cannot disclose my identity.
PROTECTING OTHERS
Being gay in Jamaica goes much deeper than my family and friends knowing how I choose to live my life. I own a business. Knowing how homophobic Jamaicans are, if my business associates were to find out my sexual preference then there is a big chance that business would decline and my lifestyle would plummet even more -- this time economically. I also have to be thoughtful of my employees. I do not want any unnecessary harm or pain being inflicted on them as a result of sheer ignorance."
There are many cases of lesbians having that defining moment when they realise that they are indeed gay. Jodie says she never had such a moment because she has always known that she is attracted to women. As a teenager Jodie remembers when the girls at school started to have an interest in boys and uses the term 'monkey see, monkey do' to describe her earlier relationships with the opposite sex.
Being young and oblivious of what it meant to be gay, Jodie says she thought her attraction to women was merely a phase. Away from the confines of Jamaica, Jodie felt free to explore her sexuality when she was away at college in Canada. Her first episode with a woman was at the age of 18 and by the time that she returned to Jamaica at 22, she was comfortable enough with her sexuality to bring her then girlfriend back home for a vacation. Her girlfriend, a foreigner, ended up living in Jamaica with her for three years.
SOCIAL LIFE
"To be a lesbian in Jamaica you have to be prepared to have virtually no social life," she tells Flair. "Imagine what a controversy it would cause if I went to the Quad nightclub or an all-inclusive party and started slow dancing with my girlfriend. People would be outraged. I cannot really be myself when I go out in public so I tend to stick to more intimate interaction such as the Internet, private parties and the Women For Women group which is a non-governmental organisation which focuses on issues as they relate to lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered women."
During our interview the doorbell rings and it is none other than Jodie's girlfriend/partner. Let's call her Allison. Allison is an attractive, stylishly-dressed woman in her 20s. She attended the same high school in upper St. Andrew as Jodie and now works in the corporate world. Allison has been living as a lesbian for two years and says, "When I was with my former boyfriend, I was curious as to what it would be like to be with a woman but I did not have the nerve to explore my sexual inhibitions."
As in heterosexual relationships, Jodie admits that role-playing in lesbian relationships also exists, noting that terms such as 'dyke', 'butch' and 'lipstick lesbian' are often used to classify the various types of lesbians.
Jodie and Allison say they fit certain lesbian role-playing stereotypes. "If I had to categorise myself then I would be the dyke, as I am more masculine. Allison is definitely the lipstick lesbian as she is more feminine."
While neither has experienced violence due to their sexual preference, the duo say they are careful not to offend anyone with their lifestyle. Still, they say, gay people should not be mistreated. "We are individuals like anyone else. Jamaica needs to wake up and get with the times. The world is changing and we as a people must open our minds."
- Kaili McDonnough
