Rev. Kenneth D. Richards.
- Ian Allen photo
The Very Rev. Kenneth D. Richards, Contributor
MARRIAGE AS an institution is under attack in ways that threaten to undermine its human value and purpose in society. This arises from the combination of the rapid changes in society and a culture that undermines marriage values by deforming and distorting them with misconceived and new notions or negative historical concepts that obscure in varying degrees the truth and the dignity of the person.
The truth and dignity of the person are undermined, for example, by cohabitation, which lacks the commitment to stability and fidelity that are required so that honour is given to the dignity of the persons involved in an intimate relationship.
I shall now attempt to clarify the distinction between marriage and cohabitation so as to assist those unsure but are intent on living in a faithful relationship that safeguards their dignity.
At the outset I acknowledge the contribution of sociological analysis that sheds light on the historical origins of cohabitation and the consideration that must be given to this reality when developing pastoral action. But the confession of faith must resist all perceptions and less than ideal conclusions of social analysis that are contrary to the Scriptures.
Cohabitation is contrary to God's purpose and generally has a negative impact on the dignity of the person because it is a relationship in which a man and woman live together by an informal contractual agreement, a loose type of fidelity that lacks the character of permanence.
Indeed, cohabitation affords a man and woman mutual companionship, security for each other, and the sharing of a sexual relationship that is intended to express their mutual love and desire for children. However, Familiaris Consortio (a document of the Catholic Church on family life; FC #11) reminds us that sexuality, the means by which man and woman give themselves to one another through acts that are proper and exclusive to married couples is by no means something purely biological. The implication is that the relationship of man and woman has a deeper value than what cohabitation makes possible.
This value concerns the innermost being of the human person, their dignity, which declares that a man or a woman are a kind of good that must not be subjected to any kind of use/abuse. The inference is that the use/abuse of a person in a relationship is avoided only when the acts that are proper and exclusive to sexual intimacy are truly human and reflect the dignity of the person.
This is achieved when acts of sexual intimacy are an integral part of the love by which man and woman commit themselves totally to one another until death. Therefore, any intimate relationship that does not have this intention constitutes an abuse of the persons involved. Because cohabitation is constituted by a non-legal binding commitment that makes possible the abuse of the rights of persons involved in an intimate relationship. Experience has shown that the binding nature of the law is necessary to safeguard the rights and duties of persons in relationships that have the nature of a contract.
In addition, the application of such law needs to be in accord with God's purpose, which indicates that sexual love, the mutual total personal giving between man and woman, must never have the possibility of deciding at any time to accommodate another sexual partner while the original partner is alive.
For this reason marriage is the only place in which sex, as the act of total self-giving, is suitable and legitimate. Indeed, marriage makes possible the covenant of conjugal love freely and consciously entered into, whereby man and woman accept the intimate community of life and love willed by God (FC #11).
Thus, the institution of marriage must not be viewed as 'just' formalising a union the extrinsic imposition of a form. Rather, it is an interior requirement of the relationship where a man and a woman are committed to a covenant that is publicly affirmed as unique and exclusive, in order that they live as a couple with complete fidelity to each other and complete faithfulness to the plan of God. In this way, the freedom of the person, far from being restricted by the requirements of fidelity, is secured against every form of subjectivism or relativism and so honours human dignity by giving expression to the creative Wisdom of God.
In view of the fact that Jamaica is a Christian society, there is an obligation that the members of this society include in their understanding of intimate relationships the gospel values discussed herein so that their relationship can have a positive influence on safeguarding the dignity of the person.
The Very Rev. Kenneth D. Richards is the
administrator at Holy Trinity Cathedral
