THE EDITOR, Sir:MS. DAWN Ritch never fails to amuse me with her presentation, communication, talent and wit, as a journalist, she shines through with some clever antidotes to make me laugh, which is not something I do often. I may not always be in agreement with her opinion, but I admire her no-nonsense approach to a lot of things that are happening in Jamaican politics etc., etc., etc.
After reading her contribution to The Sunday Gleaner of July 25, 2004 entitled (Drugs and money laundering business), I would like her advice on how to become a politician in Jamaica at the age of 50.
If I was to become a criminal lawyer would that help, crime and violence seems to be a big money spinner in Jamaica at the moment, I could represent those who are responsible for the inhumane slaughtering and raping of your young women and children.
I could sell Jamaican sugar to the Iraqis and things and things, that would show the Jamaican people how good I am at putting Jamaica first and myself after as Prime minister. I am a champagne socialist.
I don't know the difference between offshore banking and money laundering so I will seek my sister bunting for advice since she is a sidewalk vendor and a self-employed person, and she is smarter than me with money; she is a rapacious capitalist.
I will build more churches in Jamaica so the sanctimonious conservative can continue to collect their 10 per cent tithes from the poor and unemployed.
I will be everything for every man because I am a two-face liberal.
If I become Prime Minister of Jamaica I will also want to be the third world leader not the band leader mate, you know what I mean!
The free press in Jamaica will not have to worry, if you don't piss me off I will not threaten you with nationalisation.
My manifesto will be (George Orwell's) Animal Farm so let us all sing together, Beasts of England, beasts of Ireland, Beasts of every land and clime, Hearken to my joyful tidings, Of the golden future time.
I am, etc.,
COTTRELL HYATT
chyatt@postmaster.co.uk
14 Clearmont Road, London E9 7RR
Via Go-Jamaica
