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Stabroek News

Merry Christmas - Jamdown style
published: Saturday | December 17, 2005

Mai'khi C'Nia

AND IT came to pass that the yuletide season descended upon Jamdown, and yard-style commercialism roared into high gear as Jamdowners gobbled up the props which art necessary to highlight their individual taste in commemorating the birth of the Christ child.

And as the festive period draweth nigh, the mood on the rock toned down in sync, as pepper-seed displays reiterated the creativity of Jamdowners. Yea, dwellings and corporations glisten brighter than constellations, illuminating the Jamdown twilight with radiance akin to angelic hosts ­ Verily, Xmas hath arrived on the rock, relieving the monotony of mundane politicking and rhetorical gymnastics widely ascribed thereto, and refreshing the spirit of the people, as they occupy their consciousness with the peaceful implications of the religious interval.

But e'en as the people prepare to imbibe and be jubilant in the spirit, an uproar shuddered the House of Gordon as Bobby of the clan Pickersgill ­ a 'tician who possesses a tedious habit of bumbling in his public orations ­ weathered a firestorm unleashed upon him by the Labourites, who discovered that he hath become a 'symbol of sin', and sought to commit him to standing in a corner for misbehaviour. But Bobby and the Comrades swatted aside their aggravated argy-bargy, for humility and penitence hath no place within the House of Gordon, for they art subscribed to much grandstanding and baulking therein.


Thus while the 'ticians belaboured nonessential melodrama, the Forfeiture of Assets legislation, and other such urgent and crucial ordinances, languish in deadlock in the house, and art of no avail to the people in their hour of attrition. Verily, 'tis not just Percival James which is wrong with Jamdown, but the whole shebang of so-called representation on the rock.

Dearly beloved, be thou wary of the pitfalls before thee, and trod circumspectly in this holiday season, lest thou dash thy feet and immerse thyself in more mud than thou art already submerged. But thou art deserving of every respite that the yuletide brings to thy unsettled disposition, and art unfettered in indulging in fermentations if therein lay thy solace. But know ye that J. Wray and his kin art not to accompany thee behind the wheel of thy chariot, for they art bound to influence thee to exaggerated judgment and unsound sensory command. But rely ye on the guidance of thy brethren whose steadiness hath not been thus compromised, and whose gaze is sober and true.

Neither art thou to submit to the urge to push thy chariot to the extent of maximum velocity, for many other users of the thoroughfares art partial to such tendencies, and much recklessness art derived from this fast and furious attitude on the Jamdown roadway. But be ye mindful of the speed limits and obey them diligently. Yea, be conscious of thy fellow road users and know ye that we are all vulnerable when we traverse the rock, for there art many amongst us who get a rush from high speed manoeuvring. Verily I say to ye, 'tis the machine that control them and not vice versa, and these are they who will crunch ye and thy loved ones within twisted metal, and bring further grief and gloom to thy already pickled existence.

Hear, oh Jamdown. Be ye excited but not irresponsible. Imbibe and be of good cheer but be ye not intoxicated and obnoxious. For the incident of Gutters, and other such unfortunate occurrences are reminders that we art but mortals, and the mistakes we make, can be of grave consequences to everyone else around us, and that we indeed are our brother's keeper. Selah.

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