Mai'khi C'Nia, ContributorWELL DONE oh Jamdown, thou hath survived another era of turbulence, and hath underscored thy resilience amongst men. Dearly beloved, eat, drink and make merry this night, for in the morrow thou shalt continue on thy journey, and thou shalt begin to transcribe a new page, as thou enshrine more of the epic quest that is thy people's struggle to acquire serenity.
Yea, let the joy bells clamour thy happiness and resound thy high spirits, but colour not the bells green, for that will instigate conflict amongst ye, when thou shouldst be rejoicing one to another, saying: "Away with two thousand and five, a year of outrage and callousness, and welcome two thousand and six ... a new day, a time to recharge thy consciousness both individually and as a people, and to regain the true essence of being a Jamdowner."
Revel and be jubilant ye land, for thou hath reduced fatalities on thy thoroughfares this year, and all life in Jamdown is precious. Verily, where thou hath preserved e'en one of these, thou art deserving of every moment that thou can don thy party favours and scream at the capacity of thy lungs, during the countdown to a new year.
Dearly beloved, go ahead and be free of stress on this eve, for thou hath endured much over the past twelve months, and undoubtedly much more art in store for thee, for the political silly-season is upon thee, and those amongst ye who art responsible for much of what hath already compromised thy well-being, art about to pour more molten lava upon thy crown. So escape whilst thou can, and soar to a place of tranquillity, for in short order thy sorrows shall return upon thee with a vengeance, and the land again shall be overshadowed by gloom and despair, and thou Jamdown shalt weep as thou hath never done before.
UNFAMILIAR PROPOSITIONS
Hear oh Jamdown, for this new year will present to thee a slew of unfamiliar propositions which shall challenge thy national and economical sovereignty. Behold, the CSME is upon thee with its unrestrictive components, and thou art receiving disturbing word out of the Occident relating to thy farming sector, additional to the difficulties thou art already experiencing in that neck of the woods. Verily Jamdown, thou art heading into uncharted waters and thou art not prepared, for thy priorities hath been askew, and thou habitually art reactive acting with urgency only when thy back is against the wall. Dearly beloved, thou art about to be squeezed hard in many ways, for people from other lands who art more attuned to modern global imperatives art stepping up to the plate to deprive thee of the benefits that shall exist.
Take ye as examples of things to come the Jockey's Championship in the Sport of Kings, at Caymanas Park, where a Brian from the land of calypso hath unseated the local hero and defending champion, Trevor, the son of a Simpson. Also recently when the local steed Miracle Man was denied the opportunity to parade his class in the Caribbean Championships because of a simple malady. Know ye brethren that the lessons in these things art that all creation art coming to 'box bread out of thy mouth', and shall give unto thee no quarter in achieving the things for which thou art competing. Know ye that such is the way of globalisation.
A Happy New Year to thee Jamdown! Eat, drink, and be merry this eve, for in the morrow thou art required to hit the ground running, thus Peto beseech thee not to be too hung-over in the morn. Selah.
