Nashauna Drummond, Staff Reporter
The rapist might try to gain some advantage by ripping at your clothes. If your hands are free, get those beautifully manicured nails into his eyes. - PHOTOS BY ANDREW SMITH/PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR
This is the first of a two-part feature on rape and its lasting effects on women. We will also be providing information about how Woman Inc. assists women who have been raped.
This week, Flair reporter Nashauna Drummond looks at the stories of two rape victims and in our Sex and Relationships feature, Keisha Shakespeare writes about how normal sexual relationships are handled after rape.
Next week we will look at how the victims have changed their lives to help other victims; the healing process; how to defend yourself against rape and in the Laws of Eve, we share what the legal ramifications are.
RAPE FIGURES
For 2005 there were 735 reported cases of rape in Jamaica. Though these are preliminary figures from the Constabulary Communication Network (CCN), women continue to be victims of numerous sexual abuses. Rape, carnal abuse and incest are the ultimate abuse of women's human rights.
When a woman is raped, she never fully heals. The scars she carries for the rest of her life are mostly hidden from public eye. For the next two weeks Flair will highlight the stories of women who were victims of various forms of sexual abuse. We will attempt to learn about their healing process, perhaps in the process their stories will help other victims.
All the names of the victims have been changed to protect their privacy.
INCEST - JENNY'S STORY
JENNY WAS sexually molested by her stepfather. Now in her 40s and married with two children, she still wears the scars of her ordeal.
Still unable to speak about it, she wrote the details of her ordeal for Flair.
"My ordeal started when I was about five years old. I was sexually molested by him from age five to age 12. I cannot remember any time when I was not afraid or when I felt safe. I could not tell my mother because she would beat me (well that's what he told me), so I just suffered in silence.
My liberation came my first day in secondary school. I was getting my things ready when he called me to tell me my mother wanted me to feed the rabbits. She had gone to the market, so I went and that's when he grabbed me and wanted me to have sex with him. I managed to free myself from his grip and ran. I told him I was going to tell mama what he had been doing to me and he just laughed and said, "Who you think she is going to believe, me or you?"
I couldn't wait to get home to tell mama. I got home to find him, mama and one of my uncles sitting in the living room waiting for me. She told me to come in and take off my clothes and I froze. Without so much as a word she pulled out an electric wire - three pieces plaited into one. For the first hit I stripped down to my birthday suit. I was naked in front of the man who had been molesting me. He was just sitting there with this look of, "I told you so," on his face.
"My mother beat me bloody that day. He had told her some story about me and some boy and she didn't think - she just believed him - end of story. My stepfather stole my soul and my mother killed my spirit at the age of 12."
HEALING
How am I dealing with it? Well I tried to take my life at the age of 16 and Jesus saved me. For the better part after that, I blocked it out and just didn't deal with it. But I was killing myself. Many people now say I am doing well. I'm married with two beautiful children, I own my own business, drive a nice car. But I have no feelings, I am numb and my emotions are messed up. When I hear some women speak about how they feel when their partner touches them, I sometimes look at them with envy. I don't know how to make love to my husband. I just have sexual intercourse.
I am getting counselling now and I pray to God that I can get some help because now that my memories are back it is getting harder and harder to deal with it.
STATUTORY RAPE - JANE'S STORY
JANE IS now 33 years old, she was raped when she was 13. Her parents had divorced and she was living in the United States with her mother but she visited Jamaica every Summer and Christmas. One Summer she and her friends went over to the house of a guy they knew. "He was older, about 18. We were hanging out and he asked me to accompany him into a room. I never thought anything of it as I had known him for a while, so I went. He kissed me and still I did not think anything of it as I thought he was cute. Then the issue of sex came up and I told him I didn't want to have sex.
"That was when I realised how large the house was and that were we pretty far away from everyone. I was isolated. I started to protest verbally and then it escalated. We were tussling and he called three of his friends into the room. One of them had a gun. When I saw it all my fight just went out the window. He probably saw that and he told them to leave. There was a bathroom adjoining the room and he told me to get inside. I was so petrified that anything he said I would have done.
"He locked the bathroom door and that's when the act occurred. It's like I had an out-of-body experience, it happened but didn't happen.
"One of my girlfriends came upstairs and saw me shaking and got really mad, she was so angry I wished I was that strong. He ran out laughing and she and I went home.
"I didn't tell anyone for six months then I told my parents. My mother was angry at my father she because she blamed him and he wanted to press charges. I told him no. I asked dad not to do anything about it; that's one thing I insisted on. I didn't want anyone to know because even at that age I knew they would say it was my fault even though I thought no one would believe me. But in future if I was somewhere and the rapist was there, I would leave. I was petrified of him for years. I blamed myself and I thought I was foolish and so naive."
See Part II in next week's Flair.
RAPE: When a man has sexual intercourse with a woman without her consent.
INCEST: When a woman is raped by a male blood relative.
CARNAL ABUSE: Having sex with a minor (under the age of consent - 16).
Have you or anyone you know ever been raped? Do you think as women we are sufficiently sensitive to rape victims? Send feedback to: lifestyle@gleanerjm.com
