Wendel Abel
AS A child we played a game called stuck in the mud. When you are stuck in the mud, you can't move forward or backward. What is your life experience? Are you stuck in the mud of life? I invite you to step out from this space in which you find yourself and to move into a new place!
CHANGE YOUR LABEL
The story is told of a woman with disability who was not making any progress in life. She went to see a counsellor who pointed out to her that she needed to stop wearing long, awkward-looking dresses to hide her disabled leg. The lady decided to change her label. She started to wear shorter dresses. People started to perceive her as being courageous, despite the fact that she had a deformed leg. She started to make more friends and eventually met a man who admired her for courage and grace.
What is your label? Labels are the way we portray ourselves. How do you portray yourself? Do you portray yourself as a victim or a survivor? Do you see yourself as a sufferer? Do you see yourself as helpless? Are you finding yourself in an abusive relationship and incapable of stepping out? Do you see yourself as a poor thing? Maybe you need to change these labels and step out of that place!
STOP THE PITY PARTY
Many persons enjoy throwing a pity party. They are always complaining and whining. They live every day for the rainy days, and are never able to enjoy the sunny days in their lives. People do not want to hear all that is bad and sad in your life. Take action today and stop the complaining. Take time to count your blessings and start sharing the blessings.
START REFRAMING
A lady was asked to look at a glass with water. Her immediate response was the glass is half empty. She started to complain about life being hard and harsh. As she complained, she became more depressed. Another lady looking at the glass commented that the glass was half full. In seeing the glass half full, this lady started to thank the Lord for her blessings. Life could have been worse. "I have some water to drink," she remarked. She saw the hope and the possibility.
The second lady in seeing the glass as being half full was reframing her experience. We need to do more reframing in our daily lives. We need to stop the catastrophic thinking and begin to focus on the possibilities and the hope in our lives. Start reframing today.
Remember, if you keep on doing what you've always done, you are going to get what you've always got. Today, step out of this place, move into a new place.
LET GO
A young man was climbing a mountain. He slipped and clutched on a rock. He cried out to the Lord to save him. The Lord told him to let go. Instead he clutched firmer to the rock. The following day, the search party found him clutching to the rock. He was dead. His feet were one foot away from the ground. All this young man had to do was to let go!
Maybe what you need to do today is to let go. Let go of the past hurt and pain in your life. Let go of those grudges you hold, let go of the malice and the discord. Let go and forgive today. Pick up the phone or send a note. Make peace with someone in your life. Let go and forgive today.
START FINDING SOLUTIONS
Many persons attend meetings and when asked to give report, their natural inclination is to focus on the problems. They will give a litany of woes and problems. It is important that we recognise that every problem has a solution, and every solution must be found. In your daily activities start finding solutions. The next time you attend your staff meeting, report on the solutions you would have found to your problems.
Dr. Wendel Abel is a consultant psychiatrist and senior lecturer, University of the West Indies; email: yourhealth@gleanerjm.com.
