Yvonnie Bailey-DavidsonDear counsellor,
My daughter is 10-years-old and is not working to her full potential. She is not reading well and her mathematics is weak. I am seeking advice on what action to take to remedy the situation.
Mary
Dear Mary,
It is good that you are seeking solutions to your daughter's problems. Many people err by waiting too long to deal with academic problems. There are many children who have similar problems as your daughter. The reasons for poor school performance are many and so the child needs to be assessed medically and psychologically.
There are many health problems that impact on educational achievements. Many children are slow learners or have learning disabilities. Some children have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - the inattentive type. Children who are undernourished or hungry do poorly in school. We need also to have their eyes and ears checked to detect whether there are problems in those areas.
In these days of stress and multifunction, children are having a hard time in organising themselves. Parents need to help children to remember things and to organise themselves. We expect children to be self- learners and independent people but you must realise that the school workload is pretty heavy and hectic. We need to motivate the students in a variety of ways. Reward desirable behaviour and activities.
Remember the saying 'reward sweeten labour'.We tend to be heavy on the punishment and scant on the reward. Whenever someone is task-oriented and working towards a goal, we need to encourage them to be persistent and to persevere until the target is reached.
Parents need to have dialogue with the class teacher and principal. This will show the school that the parents are interested in their children's education and are willing to go the extra mile for their benefit. We need to bring issues to the teachers so that they can make informed decisions about your children.
Please read to your children daily, tell them stories and allow them to ask questions. To build comprehension you need to quiz the child on what is read. Parental involvement in education is important.
My husband
is an alcoholic
Dear counsellor,
My husband is an alcoholic and this is causing great hardship on the family. He spends all his money on drinking alcohol and hardly has any to give to the children or to the household expenses.
Gloria
Dear Gloria,
Alcoholism is a major problem in this society and it requires a lot of resources to deal with it. An alcoholic must accept that he has a problem and is willing to seek help. The individual needs to accept help in dealing with his alcoholism. There are psychiatrists and substance abuse programmes available locally for the alcoholic. Alcoholism as a disorder affects the entire family. The family members need to get therapy as well as the individual. The alcoholic needs to abstain from alcohol for the rest of his life. The alcoholic should get a medical evaluation as many organs [heart, liver, brain, and pancreas] are affected negatively by too much alcohol.
Many people, especially men, tend to drink alcohol to cope with life's problems. Some men are depressed and drink alcohol to try and cure the depression. We all have our anxieties and need to have healthy responses and activities to cope. When men go to drinking saloons they fraternise with their colleagues and this presents an avenue for relaxation and respite. Therefore an individual needs to replace his drinking buddies with other colleagues who are not drinking.
It requires discipline and deep commitment on the part of the alcoholic and his family to stay away from alcoholic beverages. It is a challenge but one that can be conquered. Depression and anxiety can be treated with medication and counselling. Family members need to evaluate themselves and assess how their speech, behaviour and activities are enabling the alcoholic to continue in their negative ways. The family should look at its communication style as well as the nurturing aspect of its relationships. Together the family can achieve abstinence in the alcoholic member.
Contact Dr. Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson at El Shaddai Medical Centre 9274824
or email: yvonniebd@hotmail.com.
