THE EDITOR, Sir:
I FOUND the article Mama's Man written by Melville Cooke (May 18), very intriguing. I am particularly fascinated by the story since I am raising three young sons, ages 12 and twins 10 years old respectively. Let me hasten to add that I am not a single mother. I give those women who are mothering and fathering at the same time so much credit. They are truly the heart and soul of our world and must be treated with due respect and dignity.
I am also not very knowledgeable as to the implications of single motherhood on raising boys, so I will not make references or use loose generalisations to that family structure. However, what I do know is that there is a unique bond of love and trust existing between all boys and their mothers, even in the absence or presence of their biological or other significant male figure in the boy's life.
UNCONDITIONAL NURTURING
This bond, we know, develops in utero and continues throughout. I guess it may be said that the same bond exists between mothers and daughters. However, the difference, I believe lies in the fact that boys begin to learn very early in their lives to love, trust and protect their mothers in exchange for the unconditional nurturing that they receive.
I find it interesting yet bothersome the relationship that exists among many boys (old and young) and their mothers. They will die or 'kill yuh' for their mothers, but they will never listen to her. I believe if they did, we would not have so many splintered families and violence resulting.
I always find it really silly that whenever boys get in trouble and it does not matter their age, young or old, they always end up under their mother's 'frock tail' or under her bed hiding. And when it comes to their mothers, they are also never afraid to cry, even in public.
MY MOTHER
Growing up I watched closely the relationship between my mother and her sons. My mother had five sons. She loved all her children, it was evident (I have three sisters also) by how hard she worked alongside my father (God bless his dear soul) to make sure that food was on the table, we had clean clothes to wear and that we were educated, but then there was something really special about the way in which she cared for my brothers. It was as if she was raising them so that as she got older, they would in turn love, provide for her and protect her. I believe Mama succeeded. Her boys are now grown men with families. I do not believe that they think that they are Mama's boys, but I do know that they still turn to her for advice and they still eat from her pot (sometimes).
So why does being a Mama's boy suggest negative connotations? I hope I am raising Mama's boys, boys who are strong, talented, caring and educated. I hope I am raising boys who will practise what they have learned in respect to women. I know they will. It is quite evident in the way they treat their mother - me.
I tell my sons that every day is Mother's Day. I think it's a nice gesture for moms to receive roses and other gifts on Mother's Day, but I think it's more important for mothers to be recognised, loved and treated with respect by all, every single day of the year.
I am, etc.,
MARCIA RANGLIN-VASSELL
Marci5216@yahoo.com
Via Go-Jamaica
