Devon Dick
Dear Brother Blair: Sorry to disturb your well deserved vacation in Barbados, but I had to write to congratulate you on the arrest of suspects in Britain who were planning to blow up planes travelling from England to the United States. In addition, commendations for the swift action of denying alcohol, gels, toothpaste and other liquids, mobile phones and laptops in the cabins.
However, more security measures are needed because the terrorists are creative and will come up with novel ideas. You should ban all dentures from being carried in persons' mouths and fillings in their teeth should be x-rayed for explosives.
In addition, make all passengers take a breathalyzer test just in case they have imbibed a lot of alcohol, which might contain dangerous substance. And make all travellers take a saliva test because it too might contain harmful matter.
Naturally, all passengers should travel barefooted, bearing in mind that a terrorist tried to hide a bomb in a shoe. It is also time to ban pens, pencils and crayons. To implement all these new measures, it would be good to make the passengers arrive eight hours before departure.
I believe the time is fast approaching when it might become necessary to have planes catering for specific nationalities just as how there are specific queues or lines at immigration for visitors and citizens. This would lessen the risk of a bomb attack.
There are a few persons who are sceptical about your police intelligence because you got it wrong about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. However, they do not recognise that Iraq is better off now than before.
Democracy in Iraq
The standard of living and the basic utilities have got worse but they have freedom and democracy. The groups are free to engage in a civil war. Formerly, Saddam corrupted the justice system, but we had a judge who was coached by American authorities.
The British police also got it wrong when they killed the innocent Brazilian, claiming he was a suicide bomber.
By the way, I heard that the British authorities have released one of the suspect terrorists. That was a wrong move. You should have done what Bush did in Cuba and build a prison on one of your colonies, departments or dependencies. Perhaps the Falkland Islands off the coast of Argentina would be ideal. Put all the suspects there without charge and by the time the courts ruled that it is illegal at least three years would have gone and the threat would have evaporated. And treat them inhumanely so that, terrorists, realising that if you treat suspects that way, would know what to expect when they are guilty or they may commit suicide.
We in Jamaica would support any measure you bring in. We are loyal subjects. Queen Elizabeth is still our Head of State after 44 years of Independence. We will never leave the Privy Council. And we love the British educational system.
In addition, please take your next vacation here, because Barbados is planning to dump Missis Queen and withdraw from the Privy Council. Furthermore, all that Barbados has is the Crop Over Festival, while we have Reggae Sumfest, Reggae Sunsplash, Fun in the Son and your children could go to ATI in Negril.
So Brother Tony, we know you are a man of Christian conviction, so God bless you and direct you and remember the new safety measures I am proposing will not affect you.
Your subject, Devon
Devon Dick is pastor of Boulevard Baptist Church and author of Rebellion to Riot: the Church in Nation Building.
