"Heave!" The group of men shouted in unison as they grabbed on to the cow's behind and pushed with all their might. "Heave!" They pushed even harder, grimacing with the effort. But the cow still just would not budge.

A crowd had now gathered to witness the spectacle as the men struggled to get the stubborn cow into the back of the truck.

"Light one matches under him tail!" a bespectacled old woman shouted. The crowd erupted in laughter. But the cow wasn't going anywhere. Even as the men begged, prodded, poked and pulled the beast, it just sat there looking unapologetic. It let out a defiant 'moo' and then flashed its tail wildly, hitting one of the men right in the kisser.

"Cho baddaration!" the man shouted in frustration as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

Spoiled cow

No matter how hard they tried, the cow just would not budge!

The crowd was getting raucous now. "Heh heh, you always have one spoil pickney inna every bunch!" one woman shouted, her stomach bouncing up and down as she laughed.

One of the men grabbed the tail of the cow and gave it a good yank. "Moo!" This caused the cow's eyes to widen significantly and it finally started to move a bit.

"You ketch him now! Pull him tail again!" shouted someone in the now huge crowd that had gathered. "Tan pan it!" After about five more minutes of wrestling with the rear end of the obstinate animal, the men finally got the cow into the back of the truck where they wanted it.

"Yes you bugga! Tan in deh and behave yourself now. Nuh mek mi hear you mouth again!" said the man who had come too close to the cow's tail a few minutes earlier. He was now using a handkerchief to wipe the sweat from his forehead while the others shook hands in celebration of having beaten the cow. "We haffi go drink one white rum afta dat!"

The crowd dispersed slowly as if disappointed that the show had come to an end.

Now this is obviously not the kind of thing you see every day. But at the Denbigh Agricultural Show in Clarendon, it's basically run of the mill. Yes, the Denbigh show is the popular annual event that farmers, food lovers and the just plain curious turn up for. It's the place where farmers get together to show off their finest, strongest animals and compete for prizes and the pride associated with being winners.

Now with all these animals and people packed into one place, things were bound to get interesting.

Meet David Needham. Now Mas David is no ordinary cow rearer. No sir. He can walk with a swagger, because his thousand pound best friend, a massive bull called 'Blacks' won the blue ribbon prize for being the champion bull of the event. A coveted accomplishment in these parts to be sure!

Winning bull

David Needham chats on his phone as his prize bull looks on.

"Yes di bull eat a whole heap. Him weigh about 1500 pound. Him and one next one name 'Red Bull'. Di two a dem win," he said.

"Beep ... Beep". The man stopped in mid speech when his cellphone rang. He put his hand into his pants pocket and pulled out a small phone. Mas David pointed one finger in the air as he put the phone to his ear. "Hi-Lo! Yes I is in an interview right now. Can't chats to you now!" he pressed a button on the phone and put it back in his pocket.

"Yes sar," Mas David was back with us now. "We come from a place just below Brown's Town in St. Ann. We come here every year and every year we win," he boasted, a glimmer in his eye. Just then, an unscrupulous passer-by was getting too close to Mas David's beloved 'Blacks', so he turned to the troublemaker and gave him a stern look. The scalawag scampered off.

By now the smell of cow was getting to me so I bid the proud cow lover farewell and was off.

I noticed a large crowd under a shed, so I walked over there to see what was happening. On my way there, I passed a man poking at meat on his jerk pan with a fork. He was wearing a white coat and hat. White smoke was rising straight to his face, but he didn't seem to mind. A few teenagers and an ageing woman with thick-framed spectacles were waiting around the pan with pained expressions on their faces. "Lawd man. It nuh done yet?" quipped a girl in sneakers and socks. "Hush up pickney and wait till it done!" the woman cut her off. The girl pouted and went back to staring at the jerk pan.

The place that I noticed the crowd turned out to be the goat pen. But these were no ordinary goats.

Winning goat

Alvin Robinson explains the intricacies of rearing goats. - Photos by Robert Lalah

Alvin Robinson was standing in one of the pens with a large goat. The goat had horns and what looked to me like a beard. There was a container on the ground filled with something that looked like corn. This was Alvin's fifth year participating in the Denbigh show.

"That one over there win the blue ribbon," Alvin said, pointing to the horny goat. He said that the goats were flown, yes on airplanes from the United States. "We raise them in Clarendon in our backyard. We have hundreds of goats," he said. While Alvin was speaking, a massive crowd was struggling to get a look at the unusual goats. "But Pupa Jesus! A one goat dat? Mi did think a one donkey!" a woman shouted to her equally stunned companion. "Dem goat deh a nyam good food!"

A man wearing a blue shirt and a cap walked up to Alvin and struck up a conversation. "Mi know seh you woulda win! Deh goat deh have nice chest. It did haffi win. Mi just love di goat chest and di legs dem nice too" the man seemed a little too excited. I quietly slipped away and was off to the vegetable section where it was safe.

A huge crowd turned out for Denbigh this year. - Photos by Robert Lalah

Please send comments to robert.lalah@gleanerjm.com