Harding

Marigold Harding continues her series on etiquette and fine dining with tips on place settings

Decorations

The type of meal served and the setting in which it is served will dictate what kind of decoration unit is best suited. Many refer to the floral arrangement used as the 'centrepiece'. Placement of the floral arrangement on the table will be determined by the need for balance. You might consider having two arrangements on a table, one on each half, giving a more pleasing visible balance.

Ashtray

An ashtray must never be placed on the table. Smoking at the dining table is no longer acceptable. It is preferred that you leave the table if you have to smoke and preferably outside the dining room.

There are two ways to use knives and forks: American style and the European/Continental style. Either is considered appropriate.

American Style: Cut with the knife in right hand fork in left hand. Cut a few bite sizes then lay your knife across the top of your plate with the sharp edge facing in. Change your fork to the right hand and eat, tines facing out. When fork is used in the left hand, tines face down. When you are finished, place the knife and the fork side by side diagonally across the plate with the sharp edge facing in and the fork with the tines facing either up or down.

European/Continental style is the same as the American style except that the fork remains in your left, tines facing down.

Toothpicks

Never serve toothpicks at the table.

The Formal Place Setting

Everything should be geometrically spaced. The centrepiece is in the centre, place settings at equal distance from each other and the utensils balanced.

A formal dinner setting consists of:

1. Service plate, also called changer, and serves as an underplate for holding the first course (which is brought to the table) and remains after each course until the entrée (main course) is served.

2. Butter plate - placed above the forks to the left.

3. Salad fork - this fork is placed first.

4. Dinner fork - is placed on the left, closer to the plate.

5. Fish fork - this smaller fork is placed farthest to the left because it is the first fork used.

6. Butter knife - placed diagonally on top of the butter plate.

7. Soup spoon - to the right of the knives.

8. Oyster fork - (if shell fish is to be served) the oyster fork goes to the right of the spoons. It is the only fork ever placed on the right.

Finger bowls are used for cleaning fingers and reducing stains on the napkins.

Primary rules governing table manners

Consideration for others.

Don't encircle your plate with your arms.

Don't push the plate back when you are finished with your knife and fork separated in the plate.

Don't leave your spoon in a cup or soup bowl.

Don't cut up your entire meal before you start to eat. Cut one or two bites at a time.

Don't take huge mouthfuls of anything.

Don't leave food on your spoon or fork.

Don't have food on your fork waiting for the next bite.

Don't (for women) wear excess amount of lipstick to the table. Not only does it stain the napkins, but also looks unattractive on the rims of cups and glasses. Blot lipstick if necessary before sitting at the table.

Don't wipe off the tableware in restaurants. If dirty, ask for clean replacements.

Soup spoons should never be left in the soup bowl when you are finished. These should be placed in the underplate of the soup bowl to the right.