Dear Counsellor:

I was reading a letter in The Gleaner of December 16 from a young lady called Becky and her long-distance relationship, and I felt compelled to respond to her.

I, too, am in a long-distance relationship (I'm in Jamaica and he's in Haiti on a job assignment for a year). If it is any comfort to Becky, I do know what she is going through. The GREAT thing about our relationship is that it started out as a wonderful friendship for some seven years and has now taken on a life of its own as it has transformed into what we have today.

I think the key to any relationship is great communication, and I think Becky and her loved one have this. But there are times when individuals go through stuff and it is important to allow them to go through it while letting them know that you are there for them.

I know illness takes a toll as I have also recently found out my mother has cancer; and even though I know he loves me, there's nothing he can say or do to change the fact that my mother is ill, and there's nothing I can do about it. The funny thing is, the more he tries is the more I push him away, and it has nothing to do with cheating or a lack of love.

To Becky, I would like to say, hang in there, sweets, give him some time, let him know that you love him and then just relax and enjoy it. Love is an amazing emotion and just a little of it and a lot of faith will see you through. Don't forget to keep him and his mother in your prayers and let God handle the rest. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and have you all in my prayers.

- Fran

Dear Fran:

Many thanks for your letter. While you are being sympathetic to Becky's situation, I would like to pinpoint something as it relates to your relationship. Please stop pushing your friend away when he tries to help. Pushing him away will make him feel that he cannot help you to deal with your problems.