Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson

Dear Counsellor:

I am 31 years old, married, with two children, a professional and a devout Christian. I have difficulty managing my time and completing my activities. I would like some suggestions as to how to cope.

- Viola

Dear Viola:

Life is a challenge and we have to organise ourselves and prioritise. You need to make a list of all the activities that you are involved in. With this list you will be able to see how your time is being spent. Taking care of yourself, looking after your husband and children and working are your priorities.

Your relationship with God takes centre stage and from this you plan your activities. In life you need to set goals, prioritise your activities and plan your strategies. There are only 24 hours in a day and you need time to sleep. Sleep regenerates your body and refreshes your spirit.

Help

We all need help from others to function effectively. Your blood and extended family can help you to do child-care activities. You may be able to carpool with friends or co-workers. Stress management and the pursuit of happiness are at the forefront of our lives. We need to manage the stressors and our responses to them.

Sometimes, we overgeneralise and ascribe negative thoughts to certain activities. We need a positive attitude, combined with tolerance and persistence. What is required of us is a commitment towards our tasks so that our goals can be achieved.

We need to make a schedule of our activities and devise a framework to help us complete the tasks. Having set up schedules and frameworks, we need to look at time management to ensure that our time is wisely spent. When you set goals, you are able to weed out the unnecessary activities or behaviours that will impede your progress.

Family meetings are important, and couples need to sit down and plan their lives from year to year. It's the beginning of the year and you should use this time to plan your goals for 2007 and devise tactics and strategies to achieve them.

I was abused

Dear Counsellor:

I was sexually abused when I was an adolescent. As an adult, I suffer from depression and anxiety. I don't sleep well at times and sometimes I am non-productive at work.

- Annmarie

Dear Annmarie:

It is unfortunate, but many adults have been sexually abused. Some individuals develop problems in adulthood because of sexual abuse during adolescence. Sometimes, the ill effects of the sexual abuse are not evident until adulthood.

Many survivors develop depression, personality disorders or psychosis because of childhood abuse. You need to see a psychiatrist who will prescribe medication if needed. Counselling will help you to develop appropriate coping strategies, and will enable you to examine your emotions, feelings and thought patterns.

Depressed

Negative thoughts and behaviours are seen in individuals who are depressed. Individuals who have been abused need to learn to set limits and boundaries and get involved in healthy activities. The therapy that is commonly used is called cognitive-behaviour therapy. It is very helpful for individuals who have been abused.

Self-analysis is good. It is helpful to analyse your strengths and weaknesses. You need to emphasise your strengths and let them work for you. Strength analysis should be done regularly, as well as assessment of your behaviour under different conditions. When you are able to assess yourself, you will be better able to implement ideas that will be of benefit to you. Your counsellor will help you with your self-assessment.

Contact Dr. Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson by phone at 978-8602 or 791-1778, or email yvonniebd@hotmail.com.