LEFT: Conway and Jada Edwards. RIGHT: Book authored by the couple.

Mark Dawes, Staff Reporter

"Howdoes a man, who is truly in love with God, handle this gift called woman in such a way that protects her heart and doesn't hurt her in the dating process? Can a man and woman truly just be friends? What are the things that a man does to encourage a woman's emotions?"

That quotation is taken from a newly-released book which seeks to address those questions and others. The book, like the above headline, is entitled What to do When Love's in View. It is authored by Dr. Conway and Jada Edwards.

Dr. Conway Edwards is the son of well-known Jamaican child evangelist and host of LOVE-TV's Vantage Point, Clyde 'Uncle Clyde' Edwards, and his wife Barbara.

The Edwardses' 138-page book seeks to provide single men and women, regardless of their age, with a roadmap to follow in identifying, meeting, courting, and marrying. The couple's book is grounded in Scripture - for they believe the Bible provides clear insight and fundamental principles that should guide and govern male-female relations.

Dr. Edwards holds two master's degrees. He has a Master of Theology and a Master of Business Administration. His doctorate is in strategic leadership. He is at present a pastor at Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, Texas. He serves under the leadership of senior pastor, and well-known author and television preacher, Dr. Tony Evans.

In that church, he and his wife give leadership to the singles ministry. Jada Edwards, an American, also holds an MBA. She is employed at the Dallas County Community College District where she works as a process analyst. An experienced speaker and Bible teacher, she partners with her husband in various mentorship-related ministries.

After laying out the vision for the book, the authors offer Biblical definitions of 'man' and 'woman'.

Devastating realities

Dr. Edwards in chapter two called 'The man you are becoming' states: "One of the most devastating realities in our culture today is that for a variety of reasons many men do not have a clear picture of manhood. In other words, they don't know who they are trying to become. Notice I said who they are trying to become, not what. Wanting to become a great businessman, and athlete, or a husband still doesn't say who you want to be. It simply defines what you want to be.

He continues, "Becoming a healthy man requires you to have vision for your life which means you must be actively pursuing the call of God in your heart. Rejecting passivity means we don't just wait for life to happen; we make life happen!

Dr. Edwards who is also president of the local discipleship organisation, National Centre for Christian Leadership offers a definition of manhood based on the acronym R.E.A.L. "These kinds of men," he said, "reject passivity, realise that they must keep eternity in mind, are aware of both their strengths and weaknesses, and love consistently."

In a chapter called 'The woman you are becoming' Mrs. Edwards writes, "Many women have one destination that consumes them more than any other, and that is marriage. The problem is that we find ourselves as lost ... we know what we need in general and we know that only God has it, but we don't know what that looks like in our everyday lives or which direction to go in order to pursue it."

She offers the acronym S.E.R.V.E. as a definition of who a woman is. A woman, she argued, should support and undergird a man and understand his purpose and recognise his destiny; empower and nurture those around her, relate and connect with others; value spiritual covering in her life; enhance and impact the lives of those around her.

The authors place a premium on Christians getting spiritual covering for its own sake but doubly so when pursuing marriage. By covering they mean one or more spiritually-mature individuals who will be a sounding board, guide and protector as the individual strives towards spiritual growth. They suggest too that when a man and woman become married, it is useful for them to be covered by being in a relationship with a mentor-couple. The book does offer guidelines in seeking out a spiritual covering.

Preferences

Conway and Jada flip on its head, some conventional things that people look for in a mate. They argue that traditionally people have been obsessed with 'preferences' when instead they should be guided by 'principles'.

"Often singles look for people whom complement them or people who they believe will help them have a better future, but they overlook the timeless traits that make a healthy marriage. They get caught up in things that might change such as physical appearance, financial status, and professional and educational background. These things aren't to be ignored completely, but they are definitely fleeting and won't serve as a bedrock of a lasting, healthy marriage."

The husband and wife team, using F.A.I.T.H., describe five Biblically-based characteristics that should inform the selection of a life partner. These are faithfulness, awareness, initiative/intentionally responsive, teachability, and humility.

The couple also advocate that dating be done only when marriage is the agreed destination of the man and the woman. In other words, they don't support dating as a means to find out if the person is a suitable mate. They advocate dating just to get to know each other better before entering marriage. They believe that courtship should be short and should not stretch into years.

They maintain, "The problem with dating strategies is that they often don't provide any objective guidelines for couples to adhere to. Compatibility is only part of the equation, according to God it isn't the most significant part."

They give insights into their own journey to marriage and mistakes they made in previous relationships. The autobiographical insights are more than worth the price of the book.

Conway and Jada Edwards may be reached at info@conwayandjadaedwards.com Their book is available at the offices of the National Centre for Christian Leadership, Suite 4, 11 Ardenne Road, Kingston, (876) 946-3571.
Send feedback on Mind&Spirit at mark.dawes@gleanerjm.com

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