HARDING My last article 'How to be a Lady' brought many responses and requests. One male reader said, "In today's world, it seems hard to be a lady." I suggested he read the article again and I would focus on being a gentleman to help him to appreciate a lady and be more appreciated and more sought after by the ladies.
In today's world of express lane, fast track, cellular phones, business lunches and political correctness being a gentleman involves many different and confusing aspects. It is not about dos and don'ts but about common sense and courtesy. John Bridges describes a true gentleman as one who is comfortable with traditional etiquette and modern points of etiquette such as how to respond to voice mail, answering machine messages and how to deal with e-mail in a courteous manner.
Guidelines to being a gentleman:
A gentleman knows how to make others feel comfortable.
Even if he lives alone he never drinks milk from the container.
A gentleman does not pick his nose in public.
A gentleman is not obliged to return unsolicited messages or voice mail.
If a gentleman eats in bed, he always changes the sheets.
A gentleman parks his car carefully and does not bang its door into the car next to his.
A gentleman does not make terribly early or extremely late phone calls to private homes.
A gentleman does not adjust his crotch in public.
A gentleman's pants cuffs fall in a gentle break over his shoes. When he stands his socks do not show.
A gentleman does not carry unnecessary paraphernalia in his pockets.
A gentleman's cologne should not cause positive or negative comments among other people in the room; instead it should be saved as a pleasant surprise for people with whom he makes close physical contact. It should not be used as a substitute for deodorant.
When a gentleman wears a cummerbund he makes sure the pleats are turned up.
A gentleman never wears a button-down collar with a bow-tie.
A gentleman never talks with his mouth full or puts food to the side of his mouth to talk.
A gentleman knows that 'please' and 'thank you' are still the magic words.
A gentleman does not brag or make idle threats.
When a gentleman initiates a telephone conversation he knows it is his responsibility to end it.
A gentleman does not curse in the presence of women, children or older persons.
A gentleman never asks a woman if she is pregnant.
A gentleman does not answer his phone during dinner. If he receives a call while entertaining he politely asks if he may return it later.
A gentleman knows that a social kiss is only shared between friends. It is never offered in a business situation. A gentleman always waits for a woman to initiate a social kiss.
If a gentleman wants his guests to leave he puts away the liquor.
A gentleman does not use another person's phone to make long distance calls.
A gentleman does not barge into other people's offices even if the door is left open.
A gentleman always responds to a invitation marked RSVP making it clear whether he expects to attend the event.
When a gentleman entertains a business client, it is his responsibility to pick up the tab.
A gentleman never makes himself the centre of attraction. His desire is to make life easier not only for himself but for his friends and acquaintances. This is a challenge he faces eagerly every day.
Questions that a gentleman never asks:
1. How do the two of you know each other?
2. Why do I recognise your name?
3. Are you going to eat all that?
4. You don't remember me, do you?
