Melville Cooke

Is love love love alone

That cause King Edward to leave the throne.

- Calypso quoted inVS Naipaul's 'Miguel Street'

Sara Lawrence is certainly not Edward VIII "of Great Britain, Ireland, and the British Dominions beyond the Seas, King, Emperor of India", there is no equivalent of Mrs. Wallis Simpson in sight and his abdication at 10:00 a.m. on December 10, 1936, to be with his lover predates Lawrence's announce-ment on Wednesday, March 14, 2007, to give up the Miss Jamaica World 2006 title by nearly 70 years.

I am not, as I have stated repeatedly, a fan of beauty contests which, by rewarding the opposite, perpetuate the notions of dark skin, thick noses and wide hips being ugly. And don't give me the bull about 'we have some nice dark girls winning now'; they are dark enough to soothe our collective conscience about near sub-conscious prejudice, but not so goddamn black that we need to point to their personality as a redeeming feature, saying "she nice y'know".

Good breeding

Anyway, this is a column about belly, not blackness. A woman's reproduction is never a private matter and a beautiful woman's bulging belly is even more not. As soon as it is known or shows, despite banning and banding, it is a matter of public assessment. You know, the traditional questions of reproductive journalism, namely 'awhofa', 'awhichapart' and and 'awhendatdehgwaan'.

Now, women of good breeding, whatever that is, are not expected to go breeding. Miss Jamaicas of the World and Universe types (not the Dancehall Queen variety), elevated to good breeding more by the 'good girl' image of the contests than any personal attributes, are expected to be properly impregnated only after six Holy Marys and the blessings of seven bishops, 10 yards of white silk train and air-tight prenuptial. And, very importantly, they are expected to be impregnated in a socially advantageous position.

A dilemma

And it is here that Sara Lawrence presents a dilemma for the Jamaican public of the well-bred mindset. She is giving up the sure-shot retirement plan of going full-term (pun intended) with her reign and then taking her pick of the business types wanting a Miss Jamaica to hang up beside the Benz and the mansion on their mental trophy wall for a baby.

And, as long as it is her choice and by her public statement, I say great. If it is a mistake that she will regret, let her live it her way. She has not cried foul and tried to hang on to the crown; in fact, it is the Miss World organisers who have asked that she be allowed to remain on her figurative throne.

Lawrence has chosen to live with her choices and to liveby the rules of the contest she entered. I cannot quibble about that. Her position is public property. Her pubic area is not. And there has been no raffling of the belly of the Anna Nicole Smith kind.

It is curious, though, that sex is so removed from a contest that promotes beauty. Prospective contestants cannot be married and cannot have children, yet it is a competition that seeks to identify the ideal combination of beauty, intelligence and a social conscience (and, don't forget now, the formula for world peace) in one person. All great elements for a good breeding, I would think, but evidence of such is shunned.