Angela Philipps, Contributor

Either he's just too cool to call you right away or he goes overboard with the lyrics as he tries to ensure that you don't get away - exceedingly hot to handle.

Why is it that some men like to play hard to get while others are just way too intense? Are they influenced by what they think women go for? Do they believe that making life difficult will hold a girl's interest? Or perhaps they are simply being kind, or insecure, by paying us so much attention.

I have been single (I mean without boyfriend) for almost two years now, and am curious to understand what influences the intensity level of a man's attention and actions towards a woman. You think they are all the same? They really aren't. This one calls you assoon as you get home, the next waits a week, the other doesn't call at all. And, depending on how you look at it, you might get lucky or unlucky if he stops by in the morning after meeting you!

Oh, it seems to me that guys don't have a problem with taking a gal's number, but when it comes to actually using it, well that doesn't occur as often! And if they do dial, it's normally so long after, that I have forgotten what he looks like, not to mention lost interest! But then, there's the flip side of the coin - he is so into you that he won't leave you alone.

Stereotyped

The other night I was out and this guy I have encountered a couple times in the last year started chatting to me. We got along well, seemed to have things in common to talk about, and we shared a little laughter. He admitted that he had stereotyped me to be a certain kind of lady when we first met, and that was why he had never called after asking for my number months ago. To be completely honest, I had forgotten that I'd given it to him in the first place. On top of that, he claimed that a friend of mine had told him to call me ... OK, well, that's just not true, but who's counting? Anyhow, he asked for my number again and I gave it to him thinking, "He's a nice guy. No harm in seeing him some time."

Well, he did not stop there. He kept trying too hard to impress me. We were at a live concert, for goodness sake! I was clearly trying to watch the performance and was in no mood to be discussing what my favourite hobbies are! And then to make matters worse, he kept closing in behind me. Ok, the line was crossed there, doesn't PERSONAL SPACE mean anything to him? Did he not realise that having my number meant, "I like you enough to want you to call me"? He had to do what? Make sure I wasn't going to give another man my digits? And each time I moved, there he was, poof, like magic! My throat closes at the thought of it. You know, maybe if it was love at first sight I wouldn't be complaining, but it wasn't, so give me a little time to see if I really like you or not. We're hanging out in the same group, I'm not going anywhere and I gave you my number! Have you forgotten that little fact already? Chill out and see how things go, don't force the issue.

Unfortunately, by the end of the evening I was literally running away from him. What a shame he didn't just cool it down a little. I guess it never occurred to him that behaviour like this can burn and turn a woman away!

angelaphilippsja@hotmail.com