Dear Karen:

What prompted you to have this affair? What do you perceive was lacking in your relationship? And by the way, if he never found out, would you have continued with the affair?

Sad to say, it is much easier for a woman to forgive a man for infidelity than the other way around. For the man it is a hard pill to swallow as his ego will prevent him from doing so, especially if he knows 'the other man'.

My advice is that you put yourself at his mercy, possibly asking a trusted family friend to intervene. Or both of you can go to see a counsellor if he can be encouraged to do so.

Dear Sheryl:

I wish I could tell you that you will never experience any more pain or disappointment in your life, but that is not possible. Unfortunately, life is filled with pain and disappointment, not only happiness.

Perhaps your feelings of guilt led to the relationship's end. Additionally, for some persons, developing a close relationship can be scary as this requires self-disclosure. This frightens many persons because they fear that after unveiling themselves emotionally they may be rejected.

Having said that, you cannot use one experience to label all other relationships. If you desire a family, you must be prepared to take the plunge and open your heart. There is no guarantee that you will never be hurt again, but as the saying goes, "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all".