Dr. Claudette Cooke

The Rev. Dr. Claudette Cooke, director of Youth Opportunities Unlimited (YOU), says one of the reasons parents are losing their children to the 'Dons' is "they are there, you are not!"

Speaking recently at a Churches Co-operative Credit Union forum entitled 'Parenting: What's Your Plan?' Cooke, the vice-president for public relations human resource development at the Jamaica Broilers Group, outlined the following four-pronged plan for good parenting.

Steps towards good parenting

Step 1 - Show Up! Parents have to structure their lives in a way to make time for their children, not just physically, but spiritually and emotionally. Research shows that the first persons children want to go to for any form of help are their parents, so if they are not available, the young ones will go somewhere else.

Step 2 - Wake Up! Whether you like it or not, somebody has a plan for your child. The Internet is one such avenue used by predators to steal the souls of your children, by luring them into pornography and the use of drugs, including liquor and cigarettes.

While your children may seem to be gainfully engaged on the computer, parents still have to check regularly to see what they are reading and with whom they are chatting. They can be indoctrinated right there in your home by invaders from cyberspace. Make sure you know what and who are impacting their lives. Get to know their friends.

Step 3 - Gear Up! Parents have to get equipped to deal with the changing times and trends and educate themselves to what's happening in their children's world. So a seminar like this - which has been initiated by Churches Co-operative Credit Union in collaboration with Youth Opportunities Unlimited - is one which every parent should make an effort to attend, so they can learn the skills needed to be good role models to their children. We should not be afraid of new information, which is even more available today than say 28 years ago when I first became a mother.

Step 4 - Shape Up! Children live what they learn and outsiders just need to watch the actions of your offspring to know what is happening in your household. Children reflect what their parents do, because they are mirror images of their everyday lives. In fact, children are stars of the self-made videos of lessons learned.

Cooke also urged parents to be "askable", instead of "tellable". "Your children must know they can come to you with everything," she said.