Dear Counsellor:

I must say thanks for the article last week. I was under pressure and it came at the right time. I am implementing some of your ideas.

- Jordan

Dear Jordan:

I am glad that you found the article helpful. Stress is a part of life and we have to cope with it.

Ensure that you get an adequate amount of sleep at night or day. If you are feeling depressed or anxious, please see a doctor to get treatment. Practise relaxation exercises to deal with daily tension.

Eat right and take your daily supplements. Practise spirituality on a daily basis and always remember to manage your stress. We need to conquer stress and cope well so that we can be productive and psychologically well.

Dear Counsellor:

My son died recently and I am having a difficult time dealing with it. It is painful and causes me sleepless nights. I go to work, but my mind wanders and I spend the day thinking ofmy son.

- Margaret

Dear Margaret:

Death is a very painful experience for relatives. The emotions cause us to feel severe pain. The feelings persist for a few months - longer for others - and reoccur at the time of the anniversary.

Mourning is an experience in which one has to adjust to the absence of an individual and make the transition with as few problems as possible. Bereavement requires the support of relatives, friends and co-workers. In the early stages of mourning, support is usually very good but as time passes the involvement of others wanes.

It is good to keep a journal about your feelings and activities. Writing is good therapy and it soothes the mind and allows us to put things into perspective.

Sometimes, writing poems about our feelings can be very helpful. It is good to seek counselling early so that appropriate coping strategies can be put into place.

Have fond memories

Mourning is a common experience but is difficult. Make a scrapbook of memorable moments of your son. This will be a keepsake and will help you to pass through the painful moments.

You can write a letter to your son, telling him all the things that you would like him to know. I am sure your son would want you to be happy. Think of things that he would do or say to make you feel happy. It is good to have fond memories of your son to share with others. You will find that the emotional pains get less with time.

However, he will always be in your memory. Whenever the anniversary of his death looms, you may become tearful and depressed. Seek help from a grief counsellor during these periods. Tears are good as they are therapeutic.

Be prepared to make the transition slowly and with lots of effort. During mourning, you need to pay attention to your sleep, diet and exercise.