Yahneake Sterling, Staff Reporter

Almost every girl who has read fairy tales, dreams of a knight in shining armour riding in on his white horse and sweeping her off her feet.

As a girl matures, she finds that fairy tales are just that and nothing more.

In modern times, however, a knight in shining armour represents a "rich guy" and the girl is normally someone from the poorer class seeking this rich guy to save her from her circumstances.

It's a fusion of the classes, uptown marries downtown, rich beds poor. These relationships are often frowned upon, especially by the persons in the upper class as some believe that it is a marriage only for monetary gain.

"People from different classes can fall in love, I am not disputing that, but let's face it, most times these girls see him as their meal ticket," 28-year-old Carrie Brown, an attorney-at-law, comments.

She further stated that the spending habits of the two individuals may differ and this could cause a problem.

Investments and savings

"She is not used to having so much money at her disposal, so she may want to overspend not thinking that investments and savings are important too," Carrie added.

For Susan Black, a 26 year-old banker, people are just people and who they fall in love with should not be viewed in such a negative manner.

A young woman from a very humble background, Susan says that she has had to work very hard to be in her current position.

"Nothing was ever handed out to me, I've had to work hard for it," she said.

But she points out that her boyfriend of three years comes from a rich family and has everything easy. It is normal for him to buy expensive items that he often discards after a short while. This sometimes upsets Susan who was socialised to save all the time and only spend on the necessities.

Where marriage is concerned, she admits that the topic has been discussed, but she is unsure whether it will materialise because of his family's attitude toward her.

"I don't think they like me much, I believe they only tolerate me because I am with their son. As for him, sometimes I think he feels pressured by the negative attitudes toward our relationship" she states.

"Deep down I think they (his parents) would object to us getting married."

Only time will tell

So can a couple like this survive?

According to marriage and family therapist Dr. Sydney McGill, time alone will vindicate the individual who lands in this position.

"People will have a lot to say initially because someone doesn't fit into a particular stereotype," he told Flair.

Transparency is key, he notes, and adds that communication is also crucial. One must also be prepared to lose some friends but rest assured that the ones who stick around are the genuine ones.

"The relationship is one that you will always have to be working on because outside forces will break it apart, so communicating how you feel is important," Dr. McGill points out.

A woman from the working class who falls for a man from the upperclass, normally evolves quickly into someone who dresses and acts the right way.

She also quickly learns the correct social graces.

When this happens, she runs the risk of alienating her family and friends, in this case Dr. McGill says, she will have to strike a balance.

Here are a few suggestions on how to cope:

Reactivity: Learn not to react to negative comments. Prove your character, this will win them over in time.

Communication: Communicate with your partner about things that are upsetting.

Take frequents breaks together: Leave the area where the negativity is. Time away will help to nurture the relationship.

Names changed

yahneake.sterling@gleanerjm.com