Tony Deyal

My children have always wanted a dog. They would scan the pictures of dogs at the animal shelters, look at ads for different breeds in the newspaper and want to stop wherever they saw a sign marked 'Dogs for Sale'. A few days ago they got their wish.

The term 'dog' is generic and lacks the specificity that general semanticists require for that clause beloved of the legal fraternity, 'the avoidance of doubt'. I remember when I lived in Belize, I was speaking to a friend in Trinidad and told him that I was thinking of buying a dog for my mother. He was immediately sympathetic.

Get rottweiler or doberman

"Yes, you right, man," he agreed. "With the crime situation here, that is a good idea. You should get a Rottweiler or Doberman." I had to explain that what I was really considering was something like a Pekinese, small and affectionate that would not eat her out of house and home and would be good company for her.

So what kind of dog did my children acquire? Put it this way. A man entered a small country store and saw a sign saying, 'Beware of the Dog'. He looked around cautiously, but all he could see was a tiny dog darting madly from one corner to the other. The man laughingly asked the owner, "Is that the dog people are supposed to beware of?" "Yes," the owner replied. "He sure doesn't look dangerous to me," observed the man. "Why did you put up the sign?" The owner explained, "I had to. People keep tripping over him."

We have to acquire and erect such a sign on our veranda which has now become the permanent home of the newly acquired pet in pup-etuity. While the little dog is what is known as a 'toy' dog but is less a Barbie than baby.

The first thing we had to do after giving him a home was to inflict a name on him. You have to be careful about that. Americans, with their weird sense of humour, will give their dogs names like Willy or Sex so that they can deliberately create problems or embarrassment. Can you tell your teacher that your Willy ate your homework or you took it for a walk in the park? The owner of Sex was in a custody battle with his wife for the dog. When he told the judge he had Sex before he was married, the judge said, "Me too."

The problem with naming the dog was his appearance. He is a roly-poly combination of beige and whitish brown, is furry and chubby, and moves in little leaps and smaller bounds. I tried 'Sandy'. No way. Too ordinary for such a cute, clever and captivating little dog that everyone will love, the neighbours will envy and someone will try to kidnap and demand an extraordinary ransom which I will have to pay.

Pets' names

"Dune?" "Oh gosh, man, can't you think of something clever and appropriate?" Me? Our dogs had names like Devil, Blacks and Rugs (because it was furry). Our parrot was named 'Dora' after the explorer. Our turtle was named 'Myrtle'. Our black dog was named Onyx which is just a fancy word for its colour. We struck it lucky when we named one of the dogs 'PC' for 'personal canine' but the rest of the name game was just uninspired.

We kicked around a few more names while examining the dog closely for inspiration. He look at me closely for food. I asked myself what do you name a dog that is round and kind of whitish spotted with brown? Crix. That was it! He looked like he was baked by Bermudez. For the uninitiated, Crix is a staple of Trinidad and, in many islands, Caribbean existence. It is a biscuit that I consider the ultimate in cosmopolitan cuisine. It goes well with whatever you're having wherever you are - cheese, salt fish and ackee, callaloo, sardines, shrimp, caviar or avocado.

Creature named crix

When I proposed the name, my wife thought I was crackers, but we chewed on it for a while and they finally swallowed it. So now the little creature is named Crix and looks up when his name is called. It also looks up regardless of what name is called or what is said. It has to look up because it is so short. This is a sign of remarkable intelligence.

He is like the dog that went into the butcher shop and the attendant asked, "What is it today? Pork?" The dog shook his head. "Beef?" The dog shook his head again. "Lamb chops?" The dog nodded and wagged its tail furiously. The attendant wrapped up the purchase, gave them to the dog and the dog trotted out. A female shopper who had witnessed the performance saw it repeated the day after and decided to follow the dog to see what it would do. She saw the dog walk up the steps of a house, stand on its hind legs and ring the doorbell with its nose. A man opened the door and immediately started shouting and quarrelling with the dog. The woman walked up to the man and angrily denounced his behaviour, "You should be ashamed of yourself. This is the cleverest dog I ever saw in my life. He goes to the butcher shop, gets your meat for you, brings it home, rings the doorbell and you treat him like that?" The man replied, "Yes, but this is the third time this week he's forgotten his key!"

Pretty soon, if one judges by the tales the children already tell about Crix's intelligence, we will have to give him his own key to the house and possibly to the car. In terms of dog years, by 2008 he should get his licence. He would have to wait a bit longer to be a pilot unless he decides to work for LIAT - he could do that now. He could also be a flight attendant on American Airlines - he is much friendlier than any that I have met and in spite of his tendency to overweight, he fits much more easily in the aisles.

General dog's body

In the meantime, before he attains the caree that my children think are his destiny, my wife Indranie is generally feeding and taking care of him. She, too, is utterly entranced, eating out of the dog's hand, so to speak, instead of the other way around. While for humans it is a dog-eat-dog world, for Crix it is not even a dog-eat-biscuit world. He eats a special puppy mix which my wife feels is too hard and complains that while the poor little puppy should eat solid food, he should not have to dine on a brick wall. The poor little puppy in the meantime gobbles with gusto but also bubbles with bonhomie. In surveying the happy scene, I sometimes think of another little dog companion for Crix. Perhaps I would name it 'Smoked Herring' or 'Saltfish'. They go well together with Crix. Or maybe Dixie.