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Stabroek News

Doctor's advice - A highly sexed woman
published: Sunday | April 27, 2008

  • Q. I am a woman of 38, and I suppose you could say that I have led quite a 'highly sexed' life, doc. I have been married twice, and I must admit that I have had quite a few boyfriends.

    Since my second husband died - which was a couple of years back - I have been on my own, and had no partner. To be honest, I do masturbate occasionally, when I get real frustrated.

    But what is concerning me, doc, is this. In the last two months I have had a number of what I must frankly say are 'lesbian dreams'. These have come as a real shock to me. What usually happens is that I am fast asleep, and then I find myself dreaming about some beautiful young woman. She approaches me and kisses me - and then she starts taking her clothes off.

    Sometimes she touches me in my vaginal area, and then it usually finishes with me orgasming. After that, I wake up - and feel real guilty. In the dreams, this young woman is not like any female that I know. In fact, she is a little like myself when I was much younger! What is going on, doc? Am I turning into a lesbian after all these years?

    A. No, I do not think so. What you probably do not realise is that research has shown that very large numbers of women do have some attraction to other females. In one survey, around 40 per cent of ladies reported that they sometimes had daytime fantasies about 'girl-girl' sex. Many more have occasional night-time dreams about sex with other women.

    I think that this is connected with the fact that, in general, women are so much more 'touchy-feely' than men. They like hugging and kissing people of their own sex - which most guys do NOT!

    However, women who dream about other women are NOT usually lesbians. These dreams are just something that happens in the subconscious mind - in the same way that one can dream all sorts of crazy things about (say) flying around in the sky, or fighting wild animals.

    Do please try to realise that you should not feel guilty about these sexy dreams. After all, no one can possibly control what happens in the dream life!

    But one question which is puzzling me is this. Why are you getting the sexual-charged dreams now - at the age of 38?

    One factor may be the simple fact that you are not getting much sex. Your email indicates that you do become sexually frustrated at times. And it may be that this frustration is forcing its way into your dreams.

    Another thought occurs to me: you say that the beautiful girl in your dreams is not like anyone you know. Instead, she resembles yourself when you were young!

    So I just wonder whether these dreams indicate that you are trying to recapture the spirit of your youth, and that you wish you were as young and fresh as you were when you were around 20. However, I am no expert on the Freudian interpretation of dreams, and if you want to know more you would need to consult a psychologist or counsellor who understands a lot about that subject.

    However, about one thing I am quite sure. These recent dreams do not mean that you are suddenly turning into a lesbian. Could I suggest that because two whole years have gone by since your husband passed on, it might be a good idea if you seriously considered dating guys again? I wish you well.

  • Q. I am a man of 56, and my problem is that I can't 00ave any lasting sex. So I discharge in two minutes, and that means I can't satisfy my wife. Both of us get real upset. Please help us, doctor.

    A. Well, you clearly have that 'premature ejaculation' thing - which affects many older men, as well as younger ones.

    It CAN be cured! Indeed, the Americans have claimed a 98 per cent success rate at some clinics. As you have access to the Internet, I suggest you look up 'premature ejaculation' on Google, and read about the treatments available.

    As a first step, it would be a good idea for you to go and see a doc, and ask him if he will prescribe you the drug clomipramine - which you could take a couple of hours before having sex. Clomipramine is an antidepressant, but it also has the effect of delaying climax. Good luck.

  • Q. I am female, age 48, and recently I have found that when I discharge with my boyfriend I get a headache. Why?

    A. It is an unfortunate fact that, as some women approach the menopause, they suddenly start getting real bad headaches whenever they orgasm.

    No one is quite sure why this happens, but it is almost certainly due to the change in female hormone levels, which occurs in the late 40s age group.

    Sometimes a short course of hormone replacement therapy (HRT) helps. But before you try that, I would really like you to go to a doctor and get a good check-up, just in case there is any other cause for your headaches.

  • Q. I am female, age 28, and whenever I squeeze my breast I see some whitish liquid, like milk, coming out. This has been going on for about four years. I am not pregnant, and I don't have any kids. So why is this happening to me?

    A. This symptom suggests that something is wrong with your hormones. It could be that your pituitary gland, which is inside your skull, is making too much hormone - and that that is affecting your breasts.

    So please see a doc for a physical examination and blood tests for levels of female hormones. I am sure all will be well.

  • Q. My mother told me that vaginal yeast infection is hereditary. Is that true?

    A. No, it isn't. Vaginal yeast infections are caused from a micro-organism, which many women 'carry'. Factors which tend to promote yeast infections include diabetes and pregnancy.

  • Q. Doc, I am female, age 40, and I don't know whether I discharge or not. Please advise.

    A. An orgasm is usually a real shattering experience. So if you do not know whether you are doing it or not, then clearly you aren't.

    I think you should get a good check-up - including an internal examination - from a woman doctor. She can advise you about simple ways of learning to reach a climax.

  • Q. I am having sex with a guy who is 10 years older than me. After we have intercourse, I notice a brown discharge, with a high odour. What can I do about this?

    A. The brown discharge could be due to bleeding, but it could also be due to infection. Your email says that you would be too embarrassed to visit a doc, but you really must! That is because you need to have a doctor check out your cervix, to see if it is bleeding. The doc will also do swabs to test for infection. I beg you not to delay.

    Please send your questions and comments for our doctor to:>

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