Dr Jennifer Mamby-Alexander, Contributor

Alexander

Dr Jennifer Mamby-Alexander is a cancer survivor. This week, we present the first of a three-part series in which she gives advice on how to cope having been there herself.

FIRST REACTIONS

Everyone's cancer experience is different, but whether you were just diagnosed, are in active treatment or you are caring for someone with cancer, you will need to deal with many practical issues, make tough decisions and cope with a range of emotions.

In order to cope with the diagnosis of breast cancer, one has to first understand that women of every age, race and ethnic group are at risk for breast cancer. A few men are also diagnosed with breast cancer every year. We need to know that prevention and early detection are still important, even after a diagnosis is first made, because recurrences in the same breast, the other breast or other organs in the body may occur.

However, there is no doubt that breast- cancer treatment has made great strides in recent years. A diagnosis of breast cancer is no longer a death sentence, and treatment is no longer more painful than the disease. Many are completely cured and the future looks even brighter with individualised cutting-edge therapies that are being developed.

A cancer diagnosis, whether yours or a loved one's, is shocking and overwhelming, and there are immediate and paralysing fears of death and suffering. All these reactions are normal and it is also normal for similar feelings and fears to surface a number of times throughout the experience. Another strong reaction is one of disbelief, especially when there is no previous family history of cancer and good healthy lifestyle habits are practised.

Learning to cope with these emotions will help to reduce the pain and stress and elevate the mood.

How does one cope?

1. Accept that you did not cause the illness, that no one gave you this disease and that you do not deserve to get cancer.

2. Respond instead of reacting. 'Assert' your feelings and opinions instead of becoming angry or passive.

3. Seek out persons who have triumphed over cancer, who lead active and fulfilled lives during and after treatment, because this gives a sense of hope.

Hope provides us with a desire to make changes, and allows everyone to cope with difficulties. Hope is very personal to people with cancer, but it is important to keep a balance between realistic and false hope.

Hope can be found through prayerful meditation, by enjoying nature or by spending time with family. Your faith may give you hope or you may find hope in the fact that cancer research has made so much progress in recent years.

For some people, a cancer diagnosis brings renewed clarity and purpose to life, and this can bring hope.