Q: I am an 18-year-old woman and my boyfriend is 19. He took my virginity and remains the only one I've ever had sex with.
We both love each other very much.
My problem is that I don't enjoy sex as much as I think I should. When we have sex, it's not memorable.
I have never had an orgasm and I'm wondering if that's because he's not doing it right. Or is something wrong with me?
I was telling one of my male friends about it, and he told me that if HE had sex with me, he would definitely make me 'come'. Can you give me some advice?
A:My first piece of advice to you is to steer clear of this so-called friend who claims that he could definitely make you discharge!
If you love your boyfriend, as you say you do, it would be crazy to go with this other guy. Pay him no mind.
Like a lot of teenage women, you have believed all those stories about how 'wonderful' sex is, and how intercourse is a kind of 'heavenly' experience. Unfortunately, they are very rarely true.
For most younger females, sex is OK, but hardly paradise on Earth! A lot are VERY disappointed by it. In reality, it takes them some years to really learn to enjoy it.
As far as orgasm is concerned, you are clearly not aware that recent research has shown that many young women do not learn to 'come' until they have been having sex for two years or more.
I doubt anything is wrong with you.
Q: I would like your fatherly advice about letting boys discharge over my body. I am a virgin, age 19.
I don't want to have intercourse until I get married, but I don't mind heavy petting. As a result, I have repeatedly allowed boys to stimulate me with their fingers or have oral sex.
My only stipulations are that they CAN'T penetrate me, and that if they want to discharge, they MUST just do it on the belly.
Is there any chance, however small, that I could get pregnant?
A: As you are probably aware, quite a lot of younger adults engage in the practice of discharging on a woman's body.
However, I must say to you that I think you are playing a dangerous game. Sooner or later, one of these guys will want to climax near your vagina. From there, it will be only a short step to having intercourse.
Nevertheless, I do applaud your resolve to try to remain a virgin until you get married. I hope you succeed.
Let me turn to your other question. It is very unlikely that you could get pregnant from discharges on to your stomach. However, it could happen if the fluid leaked on to your vulva (vaginal opening).
There is also a danger that the guy might get seminal fluid on his fingers -- and then put them inside your vagina. Many years ago, I saw a female patient who had that experience.
Don't take any risks. If you continue these practices, ensure that sperm gets nowhere near the vagina.
I suggest that you consider looking for one steady and loving boyfriend.
Q: I had sex with a girl in Falmouth. Since then - three weeks ago - I have had itching and soreness under my foreskin.
What could be wrong?
A: I suspect that you have thrush, a fungal infection also known as candida or monilia. If so, it can be very easily cured with an antifungal cream.
Have your penis checked by a doctor.
Q: I am a 16-year-old boy and adults are always telling me to observe safe sex.
I don't really understand what this means. Please enlighten me.
A: The basic rules of safe sex are:
Have one steady partner.
Don't risk pregnancy.
Use a condom during intercourse.
If you have the slightest suspicion that you might have caught a sexually transmitted infection, consult a doctor.
Q: I am a 19-year-old woman. Recently, I bled after sex. Could this be cancer?
A: Most unlikely at your age. But if it happens again, have a doctor check you out.
Q: I am a 15-year-old boy. One night, I had six ejaculations over a period of around four hours. The idea was that I was trying to establish a 'school record'.
The following morning, I awoke and found to my horror that my organ was swollen and puffy. It is now about the size of a cricket ball.
Have I done myself permanent harm?
A: No, you haven't. The swelling will gradually go away over the course of the next few days.
However, this puffiness does indicate that you have been 'overdoing things' a little. No more 'school records', young man.
Want advice from the Doc? Email questions to saturdaygleanerjm.com; fax 922-3400 or post to Doctor's Advice, The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston.
