Q Hello, doc. I am a 21-year-old female, and would like to ask your advice. I am in a relationship with a young man, who is 23. But I am concerned about our sex life.
You see, doc, I think there must be something wrong with me - because I don't enjoy sex at all. I get no pleasure from it.
We have been together for about a year now, and since I lost my virginity to him, we've only had sex three times.
Maybe the problem is that I am fearful of becoming pregnant. I would say that our relationship is not based on sex, but I do want to experience it with him.
My fears are making it very difficult for me to have sex. So is this a medical condition I am suffering from? If so, is there a cure?
Also, is there any possible way that I could take oral contraceptive pills, but not gain any weight?
A Sorry to hear about all these worries. Your email reveals an example of a real common situation in young women. They have repeatedly been told that sex is 'wonderful' or 'marvellous' and then they find that a lot of the time it isn't!
For thousands of younger females, their first few years of having sex are disappointing or dull or even painful. Admittedly, that is not true for everybody.
But many women find that it is not until they are well into their 20s that they start really enjoying sex, usually with a regular and loving partner. So I hope you understand that I DON'T think that you have 'a medical condition.' And you don't need 'a cure.'
In your case, you say that your relationship with your guy 'is not based on sex.' I am sure that must be true, since, in fact, you have only had intercourse three times for the year.
Probably your relationship is based on valuable things like friendship, compatible personalities, shared interests and perhaps love.
But if you are going to stay with this man, the odds are that you will eventually develop a more regular sexual relationship with him. That is what happens for most couples. So, in the long term, you will need to try and defeat your fears about sexual contact.
It is clear that at the moment those fears centre around the danger of unwanted pregnancy. So when the time comes that you feel ready to give sex another try, I feel that you should make sure that you are using some really reliable method of contraception.
Among the possibilities is 'the pill', which gives real good protection provided you remember to take it! You have obviously heard stories about 'the pill' making women put on weight, but frankly, I suggest you pay them no mind.
Most females do NOT have any weight problems on the oral contraception, although some do put on three to five pounds. If there is an unacceptable amount of weight gain, it is real easy to switch to another brand.
However, I don't think you should be in any rush about having regular sex. I wish you and your young man well, and I hope your relationship blossoms.
Q I am a young guy, and I have had sex with around 15 girls. Could I be at any risk of getting that cancer which I understand is caused by sexual contact?
AYou are talking about the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), which causes cancer of the cervix in women. Young men do acquire this virus from sex and then, unfortunately, they then pass it on to other partners.
However, you will be relieved to learn that it is rare for the virus to cause cancer in guys. Nevertheless, you may well be spreading it to the girls you sleep with, which is not good.
Also, by 'sleeping around' you are putting yourself at risk of various sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including HIV. So, I would advise you to 'calm down' and try to avoid promiscuous sexual behaviour.
Q I am a young girl who is really confused. I keep getting yeast infections. Every time, I get an outbreak of it, I go to a doctor and get some treatment. But then it comes back again!
I do not understand why.
AI am not clear if you have a sexual partner, but if you do, then it is likely that he is re-infecting you with yeast. Please insist that he gets some effective treatment at the same time as you.
If you do NOT have a sex partner, then there must be some other reason why these yeast infections keep recurring in your vagina. It could be that you have diabetes (sugar), and you should be tested for this immediately.
Alternatively, the lower part of your body may be getting too hot. Yeasts love warmth and moisture.
So do not wear thick or tight underwear. When you take a shower, make sure it is a real cool one, and after showering, dry yourself underneath very thoroughly.
QI am a guy of 20, and I am still a virgin. I could have had sex many times but the girls were not all that attractive.
My problem is that I find it difficult to talk to females that I do find attractive. Do you think this is because masturbating has lowered my self-confidence?
ANo, it is quite impossible for masturbation to lower a guy's self-confidence. To be frank, by staying a virgin, you have saved yourself a lot of fretting and fuss! In other words, you have not exposed yourself to any STD, and you have not had any 'pregnancy scares.'
I can see that you feel bad about not being able to talk to pretty girls. The only way to defeat this is to make yourself talk to women - whether they are pretty or not - several times a day. After a few weeks, you will find it much easier.
Q I am a male, age 22 and I have just had pneumonia. Will this affect me for the rest of my life, doc?
APneumonia - which is an inflammation of a part of the lung - is quite common in young guys in Jamaica. I would expect that you would be completely healthy in the future. However, I would strongly advise you not to smoke, since your poor lung has already taken quite a battering and needs to be looked after!
Q I am a 21-year-old female, and I had sex with a boy on Saturday night. Now, I find that my vagina burns whenever I urinate. Please help me.
A It is probable that you have cystitis - which is a real common inflammation of the bladder. But I think you should see a doc for a check-up just in case you have picked up any other infection.
Q Is it OK to have sex during pregnancy, doc?
AGenerally, yes - except in uncommon cases where there are some complications with the pregnancy. Please be guided by your doc or midwife.
