The Soloist, Contributor

I gather from some emails I received that some individuals reacted quite strongly to last week's article. The topic ('Settling for her crumbs') was arrived at after lengthy discussions with a few women who were in the habit of settling for the leftover time and attention from married men. So, before we continue, let me state that none of those experiences was personal. The information came from the regular reliable 'girlfriend network' pow-wows. Yes, the points of view in this column will be subjective and even biased at times, and that is why feedback is encouraged. We can't help it if the proverbial 'stone' causes a little squealing.

So, since the column is about single women and for single women, we will not attempt to speak for married women who remain with cheating husbands who offer a little crumbs on the side to the willing 'other' woman. If these wives want to be doormats no matter what, or to project the image of the perfect wife to the world, more power to them. If, as one reader suggests, these wives have the courage to leave home, hearth, wealth and Bimmer behind when the cheating man becomes too much to tolerate, lots more power to them, too.

Crumb takers

But, back to the 'crumb takers'. Do you know that there are women who have told me that they prefer married men because they do not want to be bothered with all the responsibilities that having a full-time man or husband present? Yes, they list among their reasons the fact that married men already have someone who cooks, cleans, irons, shops and keeps house at home, so they are relieved of those burdens and only have to be pretty and sexy all the time while collecting well needed material possessions. Very often, these men are married to women who so desperately wanted a wedding ring, they plunged into wedlock knowing that the man would not change his lying, cheating ways.

Lies and more lies

On the other hand, some men tell their wives all sorts of lies in order to carve out a little time for their sweethearts. And, the same women who speak glowingly about their daily diet of crumbs, expressed some dissatisfaction with always being left alone on weekends, public holidays, the children's birthdays and wedding anniversaries.

So, is there really any difference between silly, self-esteem lacking wives who allow themselves to be doormats and the greedy, gold-digging sweethearts on the side?

What both sets of women need to do is find something useful to occupy their time!

feedback to: lifestyle@gleanerjm.com