Marriage is a spiritual, religious or legal union between two people. When some people decide to take this step, they usually practise celibacy (abstaining from sexual intercourse).

In Albanian/Kosovar cultures, this practice was usually enforced. In fact, under Albanian traditional law dating back to the 15th century, a husband may return his bride if he discovers "she is not as she should be" on her wedding night. However, these laws are in conflict with the modern democratic system, which was introduced by the North Atlantic Treaty Organisation and the United Nations since 1999.

However, such a practice was never enforced by law in the western society. It was, and still is, a matter of choice. Some couples choose to practise celibacy keeping themselves 'pure' until the wedding night.

If you choose to go that route, there will be temptation, especially if you were sexually active before. Dr Sidney McGill, sex therapist, gives a few tips below, which will aid in fighting temptation:

HOW TO WAIT

1. It is good to have a friend who will uphold philosophy and who can help keep you in line.

2. Both parties should try to avoid secluded romantic settings as much as possible.

3. Agree on what kind of intimate interaction is permissible, such as kissing and the types of kissing. The fact is, you may start with kissing and before you know it, one thing leads to another.

4. Determine who is the stronger person at handling sexual feelings and let that person take the initiative to stop any intimacy that is leading to sex.

5. Spend a fair amount of time in devotions and read books that deal with sexual issues. Discuss them during devotion. Not just in cognitive but in an emotional and spiritual manner.

6. It is important that both persons are on the same page where faith and attitude towards sex are concerned.

7. Try to limit conflicts because usually when making up, strong emotions sometimes result in sex.

8. Avoid spending a lot of time watching movies or listening to songs with explicit sexual undertones; some popular songs are laced with strong sexual content and you have to be careful what you absorb.

9. Meditate to get in touch with your inner self and what you are going through.

10. Try to hang around people who will have the same general lifestyle as you do. You cannot avoid people with whom you work but try not to engage in conversations about sex because this will open an avenue for sexual emotions.

11. Have fun but keep it to non-sexual activities, such as, playing board games, tennis, etc.

12. Express your love for each other verbally and physically but try not to focus on sexual pleasure.

13. Be honest about your feelings at all times and use the Word of God as your guide.

If you or anyone you know has practised celibacy before getting married, please write in and tell us about it at: lifestyle@gleanerjm.com.

Email feedback to: keisha.shakespeare@gleanerjm.com