Q. I have a seven-year-old who, from time to time, messes on himself. Children at school pick on him and he doesn't retaliate. He's poor at reading and if someone does anything abusive to him, or says things he doesn't like. He won't tell me. He would rather keep it to himself. He doesn't behave as a seven-year-old. I can't give him instructions.

Do you think he's lazy, or has he got a psychological problem?

A Your seven-year-old seems to have some delays. At seven years old he should be functioning at a higher level. You need to take him to the paediatrician to rule out any medical concerns that he may have. You also need to take him to a psychologist to determine his present ability level so therapy can begin from where he is functioning. Let the psychologist know that you are concerned that he does not share with you when others are not nice to him.

You should also, in a calm way, ask your son why he does not tell Mommy or Daddy when he has been hurt. Ensure that he completes an academic test which includes reading and mathematics so a teacher will help him from the level where he is.

Q. I'm having a big problem with my son and I need help. He's a year behind because of his performance in school. His teacher has a big problem with him due to the fact that he does nothing in class when work is given to him. He never has any form of homework or project to show me. Whenever I ask, he says he didn't get any, but talking to the teacher on a regular basis, she says different.

At home, whenever I tell him to take up his book or, give him work, I have to be at him to get it done. I've tried getting counselling for him from his guidance counsellor. He has GSAT in another year and I am so scared that he will not perform well. He doesn't 'give a lot of talking', but when it comes to his bookwork, he has a 'don't-care' attitude.

I've spoken to him to find out if there's something that is bothering him and he tells me no. I'm confused, I don't know what to do. I need help.

A. I recommend that you see a psychologist who will test your child to determine how far behind he is, in terms of his reading and writing skills. The psychologist can also test him to determine why he is behaving as he is.

Ask the guidance counsellor to write a report for you to take to the psychologist regarding his behaviour, and to share the activities that she has tried, stating which have worked and which have not.

You need to set some rules about homework. Give rewards when he does well and follow through when you plan to punish. For example, if you say he will not watch TV until homework is completed, you must mean what you say. You seem a little anxious yourself. Remember, the important thing is to help your son by finding out what is not going well and work with him patiently.

Q. I have a four-year-old child who does not remember things, cannot write his name, took a long time to learn to walk and still walks slowly. He still talks like he is stammering. I live in the country area. Can I get him some help?

A. There is a programme called Rural Services for Children with Disabilities. Its representatives will be able to check your child to see what types of disabilities he may have and help you to get services for your child. The Montego Bay office is close to you. Call them at 971-3415.