Sun | Dec 4, 2016

SINGULAR SUBJECTS - Lyrically challenged!

Published:Monday | April 26, 2010 | 12:00 AM



The Soloist, Contributor

The story titled 'Today's generation have lost the art of sweet talk' republished in today's Flair (page 27), looks at the dead art of sweet-talking and courting women. Men just seem to have run out of lyrics and ideas for attracting the opposite sex. Remember the good old days of love verses? Remember when many men still read an actual book so they picked up a few lines to use on the fairer sex?

And most unthinkable of all, remember the kind of men who actually read some Shakespeare or G.M. Hopkins or D.H. Lawrence so they got a chance to see some poetry and prose in print? They even achieved subject-verb agreement! Women below 30 now reading this must be thinking that those were definitely the Dark Ages!

Today's man has evolved into a blubbering idiot attached to his hand-held gadget and plugged into his iPod while some other idiot with a higher degree of stupidity and lacking in literary stimulation spews rubbish into his brain. And that is perhaps why the art of conversation no longer exists. Everyone tweets, texts, emails, BBs or retreats into selfish silence behind a box, as talking face to face is avoided.

Corporate battle

Can you imagine being dressed to do corporate battle or for lunch with the girls from your college class and sitting in your $40K-a-month car only to have some low life try to pick you up with the line, "Waapen baby?" Or worse yet, you are in your best Saturday casual outfit and going about your business when someone you would not even want to wash your car shouts, "Hi Mummy, me check fe you ennow." It's enough to make you want to go get a tubal ligation right away.

But it gets better. You are sitting at your desk and the co-worker you know likes you, finally makes a move. He sends you the following email: "Baby, when u goin" to invite me to dinna at ur plc? That is definitely a 'delete' button moment. These men nowadays have no approach!

The story titled 'Today's generation have lost the art of sweet talk' republished in today's Flair
(page 27), looks at the dead art of sweet-talking and courting women.
Men just seem to have run out of lyrics and ideas for attracting the
opposite sex. Remember the good old days of love verses? Remember when
many men still read an actual book so they picked up a few lines to use
on the fairer sex?

Visit the old folks

The creep sending that email actually has a university degree, a car and a nice pad. But he has no clue about decent pick-up language! Whatever happened to a flower with a note left secretly? Women just love that kind of attention. So apart from a quick read of passages from Gibran or Songs of Solomon or Shakespeare, I suggest a visit with the really old folks (70-90 age group), and ask them how it was done in their days. Or, check out Jamaica's late lyricist extraordinaire, Louise Bennett's, Love Letta in her book, Jamaica Labrish. It reads in part:

Me darling love, me likkle Dove,

Me dumpling, me gizada,

Me Sweetie Sue, I goes for you.

Like how flies goes for sugar.

Or, since you love the 'box', watch some very old love movies with pen and note pad in hand, and recycle them the next time a real cutie pie comes into your view.

What is the most original or witty terms of endearment you have ever used on a woman? And, if you are a woman, what are some of the worst lines a man ever used on you? Share them with us at: lifestyle @gleanerjm.com