Flair

For many women, the prospect of having a loving, passion-filled marriage is the penultimate aim of a romantic relationship.

But what if the man you are with does not necessarily fulfil all those needs?

He's perfect in every other way. He's kind, caring and, overall, would make a good husband, but the relationship lacks that certain, spark.

Would marrying this man be considered settling for Mr Good Enough?

"Generally I think that there should be that excitement," said Carla27. "That butterfly in your stomach; happy-to-see-him feeling, teenage kind of a thing," she said.

She acknowledged that this feeling eventually dies, but she believes it should not die before the marriage begins.

Jennifer Mamby Alexander, a medical doctor who previously penned a cancer survival guide, addressed the topic in If Love's So Nice ...Why Does it Hurt?

Mamby Alexander sets a similar scene.

"The real problems here are that he really cares for and demonstrates his love for you in many ways, and at social gatherings all of your family and his family adore you together as a couple," said Mamby Alexander. "Everyone is asking and waiting for you to announce the wedding date, but your gut feelings are screaming, 'No don't do it'."

She, however, points out that many arranged marriages work well, with these women expressing love for their husbands. Could there be something to be learnt from arranged marriages?

Relationship skills

"These women actually develop valuable relationship skills by learning how to cope when a relationship is not satisfying and how to deal with imperfect situations," she said.

However, Mamby Alexander questioned how these women would know if they really found love, if they never had any other partner to compare with.

Settling for a relationship just to have a family and stability is selfish, according to the doctor.

"Settling for a man just so that you can have a marriage and a family robs you of a chance for true happiness," she wrote.

Carla concurs that this would be a hapless relationship.

"I believe there should be a spark; if you don't have that you're simply settling, you're marrying just a friend, " said Carla.

Name changed to protect identity.