Like I said a week ago, 2010 wasn't the greatest. But I've decided to try things a little differently this time. I'm going to try (note, try) and start 2011 on a more positive note. So instead of complaining (at least for this edition of Kelly's World) I decided to dole out words of encouragement. No, I'm not running a fever.
To the police force:
I say chin up. At least we are better off than the police in a certain Latin American country. One of their towns has no police personnel, as they have all resigned, been kidnapped or killed. Another town elected a 20-year-old as its police chief because no one else wanted the job. We still have men and women ready and willing to serve.
To the road-safety authorities:
I think the message is finally getting through and I feel the below-300 target will be reached. Even if it doesn't, it won't be for your lack of trying. Gas prices are getting so high we'll all be walking anyway. At the very least, we'll be back to bicycles.
To the utility companies:
Your payment-collection strategies will bear fruit in 2011 because there won't be any money to collect. People will be so broke they won't bother reapplying for the utilities you cut off. It will be back to the days of oil lamps, coal stoves and washing your clothes by the river. Of course, for some people in this country those days never left.
To Claro, Digicel and LIME:
You won't have to squabble over 4G (or non-4G) much longer. A techno cataclysm is coming that will wipe out cellphones. Back to the abeng and smoke signals for communication.
To tourism officials:
We don't like taxes either (you have to pay them) but at least we don't have volcanoes.
To the DJs who felt like they were unfairly targeted:
Take solace in two things. One, the more you're 'persecuted' the more attention you get (see, you have me writing about you); and two, you're still making more than the average labourer.
To the West Indies cricket team:
The Caribbean T20 tournament seems to be getting more popular. Some of our star players aren't interested, but this region will never be in want of youngsters wanting to play the game. And if nothing else cheers you up, be thankful we're not like Australia. At least we beat England when they came here.
Well, I've done my first good deed for the year, spreading positive vibes to one and all. Now, if I can just find that aerosol can I was sniffing before I wrote this. Lata.
If you need a pick-me-up, tell me at firstname.lastname@example.org.