The Soloist, Contributor

Don't you just hate resolutions? The last time I made New Year's resolutions, they lasted for six hours, so I have stopped. These days I make wishes and then I go and pray and work even harder to make my wishes a reality. This year, I plan to work smarter.

So for 2011, I am going to share my 12 wishes with you. Why 12? There are 12 months in the year!

1. Top of my list are good health and strength; I went through last year with too many aches and pains and many days I suffered silently.

2. I wish for discipline to drink more water and eat a lot more fruits and vegetables and a lot less sugar. I am never going on another diet.

3. I wish that my work will pay me enough to go do some liposuction and a tummy tuck so I can get rid of some of the excess flab, I carry around. This is easier, I am lazy and I am not going to the gym so all those who keep badgering me about exercise, SHUT UP ALREADY!

4. I would like all the people who really can't stand a bone in my anatomy to stop pretending and stay away from me because I know who you are and chances are I feel the same way about you. In short, I wish to associate less with hypocrites.

5. This one is hard but I wish to see at least one more honest politician emerge from the 60 we have representing us - one who genuinely loves Jamaica, its people and has its interests above and beyond his/her own.

6. I wish to pay less income tax and be brave enough to start whining about it like the ones who earn foreign exchange but don't want to pay any tax at all.

7. I sincerely hope I have the courage and time to go join a gun club this year so that I can learn to shoot and get my gun owner's permit. I have to start protecting myself seriously because all but one house on my street were robbed last year.

8. I wish that, by the middle of this year, I hear some serious news about concrete plans to have some sustainable alternative energy sources. The Jamaica Public Service Company has to get competition. I applaud Jamaicans for not putting up elaborate Christmas lights last year. See how we can protest silently and effectively? Well done my fellow citizens.

10. To add to my seventh wish, I hope our police commissioner and his team find the courage to target and tackle criminals so that this time next year we will see an even bigger reduction in all types of crime.

11. I wish that all women who are facilitating worthless men in relationships that they know have no future will kick the bastards to the curb. If you are into him for the money, go get a damned job. Stop selling your dignity.

12. I wish that parents will take a more serious and hands-on role in their children's lives this year. Too many of the nation's future generation are falling through the cracks. Start by reading together at least once a week, having a daily devotion together and a family time get-together once weekly just to find out what's going on in their lives. And, if you are not doing so, start attending PTA meetings this month.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

lifestyle@gleanerjm.com