Q: I am an upper-sixth form student of a traditional high school and I plan to pursue a career in nursing.

I have been blessed with a wonderful boyfriend who has been with me for almost a year. We met at a party, through a mutual friend, and, instantly hit it off. It was love at first sight.

He's been so good to me, so much so that I really want to have a baby for him. I love him and he loves me. I figure if I get pregnant now, I would be able to finish school before having the baby.

I have spoken to my friends about it and they have been discouraging me as they say it would end my life, as I can't be sure that my boyfriend will be there for me and the baby.

However, I know he loves me and would never leave me. Nonetheless, their concerns have led to me to seek your professional advice. What do you think I should do?

A: I am happy you are in love and found someone who loves you. In addition, you have good and sensible friends. They have given you good advice. Why the rush to have a baby? Why the rush to get pregnant while you are still in high school? You need to talk to your parents and guidance counsellor about your intentions, and get their views.

Though legally you can engage in sexual intercourse, you might not be mature enough to handle a baby while pursuing a career in nursing. Furthermore, where will the financial resources to care for a baby come from? It costs a lot to care for the clothing, medical, food and shelter needs of a baby. Have you ever considered the possibility that your baby could be born with special needs? This would mean additional medical, emotional and time needs.

finish high school

It is best to finish high school and nursing school before getting a child. Furthermore, you should not be having sex before marriage. Sex before marriage is not as glamorous as it is made out to be. It can lead to heartbreak and sexually transmitted diseases. It can lead to a disregard for any rules as it relates to sexual conduct and intimacy. It can lead to lack of self-control.

Your child deserves to benefit from a stable, committed and loving family of mother and father. Therefore, as far as it lies within your power, you should try and let the child have all the advantages of life. Marriage offers the possibility of a stable, committed and loving relationship in which a baby can be nurtured and developed. Marriage offers the opportunity where wholesome values and attitudes can be taught and learned.

You, clearly, are inexperienced in terms of relationships with boys, as evidenced by your confident statement that he would never leave you. The Bible states that the arm of flesh will fail you, you dare not trust your own. Many pop songs relate how men have abandoned their lovers. And life is replete with examples of betrayal. In fact, even marriage partners have left the marital relationship. In any case, you do not know your boyfriend long enough and well enough to make such a boastful statement. You need to observe him under adverse situations and over a longer period of time, to make a better assessment of his character.

Nursing is a noble profession. And hopefully, as you undertake studies in that field, then you will understand your body better and also relationships.

Take your time and do not rush into having sex or having a baby. Instead, finish high school, start your nursing studies and get married to someone who publicly commits his love and life to you, before having a baby.

Contact the counsellor at editor@gleanerjm.com

"He's been so good to me, so much so that I really want to have a baby for him."